Killer Instinct
by Rock Star on a Rock
Summary: It was all in the past now. The apathy, the blood, the brainwashing...that was all gone. At least until disturbing sensations and nightmares begin to destroy his humanity. But with Raven going through a delicate pregnancy, his humanity is the one thing he can't afford to lose. BBxRae
1. Chapter 1

Raven's room was always kept dark, even with a window. Always organized, even with books abound. Decorations suited more to the introverted. A bed shaped nearly identically to the hood of her cloak as it hung halfway over her face. There were many strange objects to be found with many stranger encryptions. One would call such a place dark and unhealthy. A place for the troubled to go. But for the girl who lived here, this was no dark place at all, but a peaceful place where she sought refuge and could concentrate easily. It did, of course, have normal bedroom purposes, such as clothing and sleeping, but for Raven it mostly served to influence tranquility and give way to meditation—something she could be found doing very often.

Her door opened with a pneumatic hiss and she stepped inside. She sighed heavily as it closed and twitched an eyebrow at the loud noises of car crashes and screeching tires from mindless video games and the persistent arguing and yelling over Starfire in Spanish.

Maybe the tower could hold more people but it didn't make housing the Titans East any easier to deal with. Even from her room she could still hear every single thing. It had only been one day, so of course everyone was excited about seeing their friends again. She wasn't exactly opposed to it, but all teams were like families, and all families had quirky systems. Two families living in the same home made for a dysfunctional household, at least for a long time… Too long for her tolerance.

She heard someone clear their throat beside her and reacted on instinct, punching Beast Boy in the cheek and throwing him off balance.

She gasped.

"Dude… Why'd you hit me?" he grumbled, which to her said he was fine.

She walked to the center of her room and asked, "What are you doing in my room?"

He watched her sit cross-legged, levitating, as she motioned with her hand for something to come to her. At first he thought that 'something' was him, but then a book flew past his head and into her hands, seeming to automatically open to the page she wanted.

"I wanted to see you and your room is the best place to start looking," he said.

"Nobody is supposed to be in my room."

He grinned widely and walked over to her, draping one arm on her shoulder.

"Aw you know I'm an excep—"

She cut him off by opening a black portal underneath where he stood, but the quick sound of his morph followed by a steady humming told her she wasn't going to get him out of her room that easy. She clenched one hand to close the portal and sighed.

A green hummingbird flitted beside her and instantly became a green man.

"Nice try but that trick got old the…nineth…no, te— eleven…?" He waved a dismissive hand. "Whatever. Point is, I already knew you would try that."

She looked back down at her book.

"Maybe you could stop spending so much time with your library and spend a little time with the rest of us?" he 'asked' hopefully.

"You mean you."

He walked over to her bed and flopped on his stomach, drawing figureless lines in and across the bedsheets.

"Maybe," he playfully answered.

She looked up from her book and honed in on all the racket going on in the living room. The fighting between Mas and Menos had finally stopped, or at least calmed to a quieter level, and the car racing games had changed to robot fighting games that shouted out every single move and hit that made contact with the other player. Focusing too much on it would disrupt her focus. Then again, Beast Boy alone was capable of breaking anyone's focus. No meditation was even possible right now.

"You should go," she said. "People are playing video games without you."

"Is it because Aqualad is out there?"

"That's not really relevant to what I said."

"Do you want me gone because Aqualad is here?"

"What does any of this have to do with Aqualad?"

"Do you still have a crush on him?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

He came back over and took one of her hands off the book to get her full attention.

"Look. I want to be with you," he said. "But I'm worried about us. All you ever do is shut me out."

She rolled her eyes at his pity story.

"Beast Boy, it's been one day."

He dramatically dropped to his knees and threw his hands up.

"And I'm so lonely!"

"SHHH!" she hissed. "Fine! I'll go outside."

She uncrossed her legs and her feet touched the floor again.

"Spend a little alone time with yours truly first?" Beast Boy chuckled as he stood up.

She sighed for the third time in under an hour. He perked one eyebrow and smiled.

"You know you wanna," he said.

She eyed him for one moment before answering, "You planned this from the beginning."

He shrugged and smiled. "Well…I wouldn't say ' _planned_ '… It just sort of came to me."

"You can't get too focused this time. We have guests over," she said.

He nodded. "Short and sweet. Got it."

She unclipped her cloak and let it fall to the floor, and he took that as his cue to dart in and embrace her tightly. She soon after felt his abnormally long lower left canine tooth that jutted out over his upper lip press against her own lips. Beast Boy had been dealing with this tooth his whole life so of course he had grown used to it, but to her, the tooth was still new and it made any kiss harder and much more distracting, like wearing half a pair of oversized vampire fangs upside down. To her it seemed to get in the way but Beast Boy seemed to take little to no notice that it was even there.

Then again things may be the same way for him every time their foreheads touched. She was used to her gem, he wasn't. If her forehead touched any part of him he would feel it and it wouldn't feel normal to him. So in a way, they both had to tolerate some physical 'flaw', so to speak, with the other.

He moved one of his hands up from her waist to her back, where he began unzipping the zipper there, all the way down to her lower back where it stopped.

This wasn't Beast Boy's version of 'short and sweet', this was his norm. He wanted to get things going fast and lucky for him, she didn't really mind it. Normally she would analyze things, keep her thoughts and emotions under control. But when they did this something inside her clicked, as if he found an 'on' switch somewhere and flipped it. She would start burning with so much passion that her entire room and everything in it, minus Beast Boy and her, turned black with her powers, as if they synced up but never moved. On top of that she was more vocal, she would smile more, and from time to time she would laugh. Her insults and sarcasm towards Beast Boy were replaced with compliments and simply repeating his name.

When everything was over, the old Raven came back as though nothing had happened. The powers that covered her room disappeared as well.

But Raven wasn't the only one who exhibited a drastic change in behavior. Cyborg had said that Beast Boy's genetic makeup was unstable. He used this to his advantage in combat, morphing from one animal to another in the blink of an eye, and fully capable of holding that form. His primary form was that of a human, but even as a human there were parts of him that he couldn't keep under control. His color, ears, and fang all came from parts of some other animals. She could make fun of his muscles all she wanted but the truth was, his strength was in his will. Just as she meditated every day to keep her powers in check, he was under the same stress to control his. Maybe it wasn't as hard for him, but either way, he had to focus all the time to maintain human form, or to morph into any other form for that matter. It was choice metamorphosis. Every thought he had in any fight he fought had to be made in a snap, and most people never realized that about him.

That kind of constant quick thinking made him a tough opponent, because he was full of surprises and sometimes even he didn't know exactly which animal he would become next. There was one kind of animal, though, that even he couldn't control, no matter how hard he tried. All animals ran on an irresistible instinct to mate. Beast Boy never had a problem with that in the past since there were no women who would go any further than maybe a date or two at most. But now that he had a girlfriend, and had had one for many months now, something deep inside had stirred. His human portion was the only thing holding back a full animalistic instinct that he feared would be too savage to ever let loose.

He never fully allowed it to take him over, but like the animals he could morph into, there were some things he simply couldn't control. One of them happened to be half of his behavior. During this kind of intimacy, if it was passion driving him, he really didn't show it. Every muscle in his body became tense, sometimes even shaky. He would even clench his hands around the bedsheets, probably to keep from doing that to her. He would bite at her shoulders or shoulder blades, but thankfully that was the human portion of him that held back. Never once did he leave hard marks. He did leave the occasional bruise but it was soft and rare. She also heard small, nonthreatening, short growls here and there.

He became too focused though, which posed a problem when trying to get him to snap out of it. The magic word was a very firm 'stop'. 'Quit' or 'cut it out' wouldn't do the trick. The only other way he would break his trance was the natural way, which was to release.

"I thought of something new we can try," Raven said as she pulled her arms out through the long sleeves of her black leotard.

"Mmm." He started nibbling at the base of her neck while he pulled both his pants and underwear down at the same time and stepped over them.

"Sit on the edge of the bed," she whispered, random spots in her room turning black and slowly starting to spread out.

He reluctantly pulled away from her and obeyed, obviously forgetting he still had his shirt on.

She finished shedding her leotard at last, much too long for his liking, walked over to him, and turned around. She positioned herself carefully and lowered herself onto his upright cock, and he moaned loudly in response. He grabbed her hips and used his body weight to flip them upside down, so that she was the one now on bottom. Her plan to introduce something new had failed. Doggy-style was still his favorite.

The whole room stopped slowly spreading and suddenly flashed black. She spread her legs more to give him better access and better stability, and made a soft noise each time he thrust into her. His hardness and the friction he was creating against her walls produced a pleasure she couldn't describe… And every time he went all the way in she felt so… _full_. It was amazing.

"Ohh Beast Boy, harder, give me more!" she moaned in between thrusts.

He didn't just go harder, he went faster, like a locomotive stuck in a time loop. And it felt painful, but to a pleasurable amount. Almost as though the pain contributed to it all.

She could feel her consciousness wanting to melt away the real world, everything around her, to pay sole attention to Beast Boy. But it wasn't like they were alone in the tower, like they were the first time they ever tried sex.

Apparently he kept in mind that this wasn't supposed to last forever and decided to finish early. With his hardest movement, Raven felt his hot seed spill into her, soon running down her legs. She also heard him panting heavily behind her and joined him.

They both slumped off her bed onto the floor.

"So, how was it?" Beast Boy asked, putting one arm over her collarbone.

She chuckled and scooted up on him, turning herself over to face him, and raised the upper portion of her body with her elbows.

"We really need to do that ag—"

Her words were cut off by, "Vamos a ver la habitación de Cyborg!" flying through the hall right outside her door.

Raven's room immediately reverted to its usual color, the darkness seeming to suck back to her.

"We have guests over," she repeated. "Get dressed."

They both got up and dressed themselves in their respective clothing before sneaking out of Raven's room.


	2. Chapter 2

Beast Boy went to mingle immediately after getting into the living room, while Raven preferred to keep to herself and meditate over in a corner. Proper meditation was…impossible. There was too much noise, too much talking… Robin and Speedy's conversation had gone from weaponry to training methods. The fighting robot games turned into racing spaceships. Starfire had joined in a conversation with Bumblebee. Cyborg and Beast Boy were the ones playing the games. And Aqualad was coming over to talk to her.

"So how have things been going?" he asked her.

She opened one eye to peek at him for a moment before closing it again.

"Mostly quiet and calm meditation," she answered.

"Oh. Of course. I hear you really like to meditate."

"It's a necessity in my life."

He cleared his throat and continued, "Have you ever tried meditating by the shore? It's beautiful at sunset and I could whip up some calm waves."

Beast Boy's voice practically rang in her ears at that point.

"Oh-ho-kayyyy thanks for the offer but she's clearly not interested and Cyborg's been begging for you to play Crash Landers with him so if you could just move along…"

She opened her eyes to see Beast Boy turn Aqualad around and push him towards the couch.

"What was that about?" she asked.

"I don't want him around you."

"Why? I was about to say no."

"I trust _you_ , it's _him_ I don't trust."

She took a deep breath. "Is this because you both have a thing with sea creatures that nobody else does?"

"No," he scoffed.

"Look," she said, "I'm not in the mood to deal with male insecurities. I just want to meditate in peace."

"Male insecurities? I'm perfectly secure! I know my lady won't go out with anyone else but I don't want _him_ trying any funny business…"

"Well whether you like it or not, they're _all_ staying with us until their tower gets rebuilt. Mas and Menos still have that crush on Starfire but you don't see Robin going around acting crazy jealous."

"They're still kids. Kids! Of course he has nothing to be jealous about. But I bet if Speedy—"

"He still wouldn't care. At least not as much as you. Besides, try to look at it this way; Aqualad is an Altantian, he isn't even human."

"Neither am I but you don't seem to…" His voice trailed off and he smiled nervously. "I-I meant because of…my powers. Animals. And um…dinosaurs. And well pretty much any other extinct animal too. And alive ones, even. You've seen it."

A confused expression crossed her face and she was skeptical at the same time, but it all disappeared as soon as Robin walked in front of the TV and announced, "Thanks to having some extra hands, we'll be doing combat practice a little early today. It'll give us a chance to see what they can really do, and it'll give them a chance to see what we can really do. All Titans, outside!"

They all felt like a marching band as they approached the outside obstacle course in an orderly fashion of two lines each, one for each team.

"Titans, today is our lucky day," Robin said as he moved up to the controls. "We got a new obstacle course."

"You're welcome," Cyborg added.

"So, when do we start?" Bumblebee asked, stepping forward to accept the first challenge.

"First, I'd like to add that this time, the course is different. It's full of new surprises and thanks to Cyborg, it's able to repair itself after you're done. But, since it _is_ a surprise, we can't have everyone knowing about it. We have a special waiting area that hides the whole course while someone uses it. And when that person is done, they'll stand away to the side. I'll work the controls. Everyone else, into the waiting room," Robin explained.

Each Titan, aside from Robin, turned back to go inside a large metal box built into the side of the little cliff.

"Bumblebee," Robin said. "You first."

She walked out of the box and the door closed. Only a light on the ceiling illuminated the box. Raven was taking the time to meditate. Speedy was preparing his arrows. Aqualad stood awkwardly as Beast Boy cast a cold glance at him every few seconds. Mas and Menos talked to each other; nobody knew what they were saying. Cyborg was working on his diagnostic scanners and the speed at which his sonic canon would come out. Starfire floated quietly around, constantly looking as if she was debating on whether or not she should talk to Raven. Almost each Titan kept themselves busy preparing to show their skills to the others, going so far as to polish and primp and make themselves look new, fresh, rested, and fully ready for any challenge thrown their way.

Eventually the door opened again and Cyborg's name was called. He went out and the door closed.

Everyone except Raven and Starfire grumbled about how he got an unfair advantage since he built the course and knew exactly what to expect and exactly how to take it out. And sure enough, it took _very_ minimal time for him to complete the course.

Speedy's name was called next.

"We appear to be outnumbered by the boys," Starfire said to Raven.

She simply grunted in reply and levitated closer to a corner in the back.

Muffled sounds of small explosions were heard from outside.

"Speedy's arrows are indeed formidable," she continued. "Which do you think holds more power? My starbolts or his explosive arrows?"

"I wouldn't know. I haven't seen him enough to tell," Raven mumbled.

"That is true for me as well."

Beast Boy was called out next, which left a wide opening for Aqualad to woo Raven. And Starfire, seeing the opportunity to join in a three-way conversation with Mas and Menos—despite the language barrier—gladly took it.

"Raven," Aqualad said, leaning against the wall she was hovering near. "You never got to answer my question about meditating at the shore."

On the other side of the door the course didn't even seem to exist. The terrain was ravaged and looked like a herd of wildebeests stampeded over it.

Way off to the side were the previous Titans, sitting and resting against the cliff side under the controls, and watching Beast Boy. If he messed up even in the slightest, they would see it.

"Ready!" Robin shouted.

Beast Boy took a quick stance not meant for endurance, but for speed.

"Go!"

Seemingly out of nowhere, a net catapulted towards him and in that same split second he reacted by transforming into a snake and slithering through the mesh. It was an impressive move that proved his fast thinking had quickened over time.

Off to the side, Cyborg grunted. His sonic canon blasts could only tear so much of that net. The rest he had gotten tangled up in. However he got out of it, though, would have to wait.

In a mere instant many poles with heavy balls tied to a string popped out from the ground. The snake grew slightly larger into a monkey. He hopped onto the first ball and used his arms and tail to keep climbing, swinging, and jumping until he reached the top of the poles, where he became a flying squirrel and glided from one pole top to the next until that section was cleared.

This time it was Bumblebee who seemed to have had a little trouble with that part.

The poles behind him sank back into the earth only to be replaced by new, larger poles in front of him that shot out of the ground randomly, in and out repeatedly. A small animal would never do the trick without hurtling into the sky, and he had to go fast.

He shapeshifted into a hawk and attempted to maneuver himself over and though the poles. No animal he could change into had the perfect ability to pass this with ease. It took him longer to complete than the rest of the course, but he managed.

And just as in an actual fight, this course allowed for no breaks. A robot duplicate of scientist Chang rose from a metal chamber in the ground and 'prepared' for battle with what appeared to be two guns minus the triggers. They started to glow red.

Beast Boy morphed into a triceratops and stomped forward, charging with the next step and lowering his horns. With a speed that belied his size, his armored head took damage from robot Chang's laser arms while his horns pierced the robot. One upward thrust of his head sent it flying behind him, ripped from its stand. The lasers 'died' with the robot.

This time a long rail rose up from underground with a little red flag attached to the nearest end. Speed.

The flag hardly gave him time to think before shooting off. His next animal was a cheetah, the fastest land animal on the planet _and_ one he had to be careful when using. The timing had to be just right. Cheetahs overheated quickly, which made them sprinters, not racers.

About midway to the end of the rail, he began to tire out. He couldn't keep up to catch that flag and he had no long-range weapons to help. His only weapons were the claws, the fangs, and the brute strength of animals. He would probably have had a chance at that flag if the rest of the course hadn't worn him out first.

He slowed to a stop and began panting. He watched the flag hit the other end of the rail and morphed back into a human, knowing it was over now.

"You did well, Beast Boy. That was the last section," Robin said.

Beast Boy shrugged and stretched as he made his way over to the others who had or hadn't completed the course.

Aqualad's name was called.

"So how'd you guys do?" he panted.

"None of us passed, not even me! And I built it!" Cyborg replied.

"I almost had the flag but my arrow hit the rail and bounced off it toward me," Speed said.

Bumblebee clicked her tongue. "If I had monkey powers I could've gotten past the balls of death. Shrinking down? Big mistake."

Beast Boy nodded. "Yeah, I had a lot of trouble with the up-and-down poles. I think I could've caught the flag if I didn't have to go through so much first."

And in perfect timing, he wasn't the only one. A loud yell came through the air and everyone looked up.

"Looks like Aqualad just learned how to fly," Beast Boy laughed.

The man collided with the ground with an audible, "Oomph!" Everyone flinched.

"That's gonna leave a mark," Bumblebee said.

"If he thinks it hurts now, wait until tomorrow," Speedy agreed.

Aqualad came over to join them as Starfire was called next.

Beast Boy watched the door close, knowing Raven was left alone with two Spanish-speaking twins. In one sense he was glad it was quieter and lonelier in there. In another sense he was wishing Mas and Menos were called before him, so he could be there with her instead of them.

The sharp sounds of Starfire throwing well-aimed starbolts began.

Inside the waiting room, Raven couldn't meditate and the twins couldn't stop talking. It was tiresome, it was dull, and all three of them wanted to leave.

Mas and Menos were both getting too amped up. They were too energetic and released it through speed. Without being able to move around, that raw energy built inside them. Their chattering became faster and they were getting a little too loud. In a room with no one in it, it started to feel like everyone was coming back, one by one.

"Just ignore it. Block it out," Raven muttered under her breath. "Somehow…"

But no matter how hard she tried to concentrate, three things kept nagging at her: Mas, Menos, and what Beast Boy really meant when he said he wasn't human. He walked like one, talked like one, acted like one… His sense of humor was questionable but… What did he _mean?_ Of course he was human. Right? Even though Aqualad had all the same traits as a human, he was meant to live underwater. Humans were not. Beast Boy was not.

Was it possible that he really did think his powers made him so different that he couldn't classify himself as a human? Maybe there was a slight chance of it but…her powers came from her father, and she was a human from a different place. Starfire was born with her powers; she was the only nonhuman Teen Titan on the main team. Robin had no special powers but he managed to use martial arts and weapons in perfect sync to pack a perfect punch, and he was a human. Cyborg was half robot with built-in weapons and other technological capabilities, but he was still a human. So…why did Beast Boy think he was anything else? And if it was true what he said about his powers making him nonhuman, why did he joke around about everything? Why wouldn't he ever take things more seriously more often?

Then again, there was one more thing she had overlooked about him. There was something… _else_ in him, something primal, untamed. She had seen it more than once. It begged to question how that ever got inside him to begin with.

The more she thought about it, the more she realized she didn't know much about him at all. She thought she knew him inside out. The whole team thought that. None of them ever could've guessed he had something hidden that, for all she knew, could be of huge importance.

The one light on the ceiling burst. The whole room became dark and she knew if she were to stay here and try to use her powers on the obstacle course, she could lose control of them as worry and distraction consumed her.

"Mas, Menos!" Robin's voice called, leaving her alone.

She had a choice. She could use this time to meditate and try to reconstruct her focus, but Mas and Menos defined speed. She wouldn't have enough time.

She flew up to the ceiling, made a warp, and passed through it to end up in her room. Combat practice could wait.


	3. Chapter 3

Raven walked over to her bookshelf and skimmed through the thick books lining it. The closest she could come to finding out what _may_ have happened to Beast Boy, or what he really was, was a scroll on metamorphosis. She'd used it before, on Beast Boy in fact, and the spells worked. They could and did morph people. Or…they worked on Beast Boy, at least, and perhaps that was a lead she could follow.

But every page she read, no matter how thoroughly, not one could answer any questions. Unless, maybe, Beast Boy was some sort of wizard or something. That was highly unlikely though.

She was only about a quarter of the way through the book when two things struck her: this book had nothing to offer and combat practice was over. She heard them all enter the tower, talking about the strengths and weaknesses of their individual teams, comparing each other, teaching each other tricks on how to get past certain obstacles. Yada yada yada. She knew they would come looking for her soon. She could already hear Robin's voice interrogating her about why she decided to skip practice, how she could've shown her potential to Titans East. In other words, how she could've impressed them. If they were up for trauma and damage then sure, she would've made a great impression. As for potential, they had the potential to die without control of her powers. Her team knew this all too well. Titans East didn't.

She heard a knock on her door and closed the book, putting it neatly back in its place on the shelf as she opened her door. Unexpectedly, it was Beast Boy.

"Raven. I could've sworn I saw you in that room. You were called out last but you never came… Everyone looked all over for you, why'd you leave?" he asked.

"I need to ask you something," she replied, intentionally throwing off the subject.

He came in and shut her door behind him.

"Sure."

"You said you aren't human," she started. "But I don't think it's your powers that make you believe that."

His nervous smile came back, accompanied by a tiny gulp.

"I just goofed up, Rae-Rae, that's all. You know. Like you said, male insecurities and all."

"You're hiding something," she said. "And if it's so bad you won't tell any of us then it must be something critical."

"How can I hide anything? I'm green, I turn into animals, and I like pizza, what's there to hide?"

"The whole team thinks they know you."

"And they do. _You_ do. You can't possibly think I'm a bad person."

"I never did think you were bad. I'm not attacking you. I just want to know more about you. No need to get defensive."

"Look, Raven, you kept your whole identity to yourself because you were afraid nobody would like you if they knew who you really were. We have more in common than you think."

"I told everyone eventually."

He nodded. "Because you were forced to. No matter what happened you knew we were going to find out. It was just a matter of time for you but for me, I have a choice. And I choose to let the past stay in the past. That's where it belongs. But if you really wanna know so bad, ask the Doom Patrol. I don't really like to talk about it much."

He turned and almost seemed to flee out of the room, most likely going back to join the crowd and mingle some more.

But…why the Doom Pat—? Of course. They _were_ the ones who raised him, after all. It was only natural that they would know more about Beast Boy than anybody else. And, they were probably the only people in existence who knew his past, aside from Beast Boy himself of course. But from the way it sounded he didn't like to _think_ about it much either.

"Okay…" she mumbled. "Contact the Doom Patrol…somehow…"

She pulled out her communicator and stared at it for a moment, wondering if it was a good idea to ask Beast Boy. He would know. But when he left he wasn't exactly…happy to help. Asking him anything right now would probably get her nowhere, or possibly make the situation much harder than it already was for him.

She put her communicator back. Asking the one person who was sure to know was out of the question. Someone else might know but between her mysterious leaving and both Titan teams still here enjoying themselves, she wasn't likely to get answers. All it would do was stir something up and she would be caught in the middle of all the drama. It would be easier if she kept all this to herself rather than spread word that could turn into believable but untrue rumors or misunderstandings. If that happened Beast Boy would end up being put in the spotlight and she doubted that was what he wanted.

"Well, Cyborg, hope you don't mind someone hacking into your files," she said as she proceeded to Cyborg's room.

She turned on the light switch and technology and machinery of the highest quality greeted her.

She came to a large screen on the side and turned again to flip open a smaller panel. Beast Boy may have accidentally put a virus in Cyborg a long time ago but if any good came out of that, aside from the learned lesson, it was that Cyborg was so outraged he showed everyone exactly where everything was and what it was for. Raven knew how to use his computer, and unbeknownst to everyone else, she knew the password to get in. Unless he reset it, browsing wouldn't be an issue.

"Booyah," she said into the small microphone.

The computer unlocked, recognizing the password.

Raven used her powers to close his door and began looking through communication files. There were a surprising amount of people he knew, and she even found his parents and grandmother on the list.

Finally the moment came when she did, in fact, find a file with the Doom Patrol's various communication systems and their outposts and the outposts' communication systems. There was also a chance they might not even be home or at any outpost. Still, Beast Boy said to talk to them if she wanted answers, and she wanted answers.

She dialed in the code and the computer screen rose to her height and widened in preparation for a video call.

She expected it to take at least ten minutes, assuming they were home at all. But surprisingly, for an old team, they still answered their calls pretty quick. It only took a few seconds before Mento's face appeared on the screen.

"If it's not too much trouble, I have a question about Beast Boy," she said.

Mento raised an eyebrow but nodded, as though skeptical but willing to help anyway.

"Beast Boy said he's not human. I asked him what he meant and he told me to talk to you."

She heard a deep sigh.

"The truth is, we don't know if he is human or if he isn't."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Beast Boy's origin is…unknown. We were on our way to terminate an imposter of a highly classified government facility. We were unable to shut it down peacefully. Machines started going haywire without warning. It caused the whole building to start coming down. We would've counted that as an instant victory, until we found a small child hiding in the debris."

"That child was Beast Boy?"

Mento nodded. "Yes, but back then he had no name. The child looked so strange that before the building completely collapsed, we managed to salvage his case files."

"And…?"

"And it was far from pretty," he answered darkly. "We didn't know as much about that place as we thought we did. We still don't know exactly what Beast Boy started out as, but those scientists tampered with his DNA so much it was damaged, unstable, _ruined_."

"Tampered with it? Why?"

"They were trying to create a biological weapon. We think they wanted to use it in war. So they introduced the DNA of every known animal in existence into one body, and somehow made it so that body could morph into any of them in the blink of an eye."

"I always thought it was an accident. Toxicity or radiation—"

"Young lady, both were involved his creation and it was no accident. We can say that much for certain. You must understand, Beast Boy was never meant to be a human or an animal. They weren't looking to create a soldier. Beast Boy is a weapon, and they were planning to make sure he stayed _just_ a weapon. A tool used to kill. If we hadn't gotten there in time to stop whatever else they had planned for him, he would be one of the toughest opponents to ever bring down. A true killing machine."

"How can we reverse it?"

"Only Beast Boy would have that information. We tried everything we could, to the best of our abilities, but without knowing how he was actually made and what exactly they did, nothing would work. We tried to get him to talk long ago, for years, but he refused to say a word about it."

"Why?" she growled. "Why wouldn't he talk? Why didn't you keep _trying?_ "

"Whatever they did, it traumatized him. Every time he so much as tried to talk about it, he froze up. He couldn't do it. We decided it was best never to mention it again. And ever since, Beast Boy's still quiet about it. He's happy now as long as he doesn't think about it, but I don't think he's really gotten over what happened all those years ago."

"Fine. I'll talk to him myself, _without_ making him 'freeze'."

She turned off the call and shut down the computer, and noticed black electricity scattering throughout the room.

"Calm down, be rational, keep it under control…" she chanted to herself. "Find Beast Boy."

She took deep, even breaths as she searched the halls, his room, the bathroom, and even lurked a little around the crowd of Titans. No Beast Boy anywhere. Not anywhere in the tower, anyway. If he wasn't inside, he was somewhere outside.

She went out the back doors, avoiding the inevitable questioning of why she left for as long as possible.

And, unseen, she did find him near the shore, skipping stones. She went over and sat down beside him.

"So," she said. "Genetic experimentation."

He picked up another tiny stone and looked at it for a minute before throwing it and watching it hop across the water for a few feet before sinking.

"I didn't think you'd actually talk to the Doom Patrol. I thought you'd let it go."

She shook her head. "I was too worried to let it go."

"What do you think of me now?"

"I still think you're a huma—"

"Well I'm not. I don't know how much they told you, but I was designed to be a weapon. Every day the scientists there, they kept drilling into my head what I was, what I was supposed to do, they said I had to do it. And it wasn't just me. There were tons of others who kept being told the same thing. I was the lucky one who lived."

"So you're a weapon. I'm a portal. That doesn't make me any less human. You can be two things at once. Just look at Cyborg."

"The difference is that he really is human. I'm a biological weapon. I'm science fiction come to life. It's not the same as having prosthetic arms and legs, nothing about me is fake or replaced. Maybe I used to be human but…I'm not anymore."

"Mento said your origin is unknown. We don't know what you really used to be."

"I was a human. My parents died shortly after I was born. It was a miracle that I even survived. That place took me in and seven years later, I became this."

"What's wrong with 'this'?" she asked.

In an instant a velociraptor stood in front of her, casting an intimidating glance and a threatening purr.

He bared his sharp teeth and the next time he opened his maw was to let lose a chilling screech. It was enough to make even her back up into a slightly more defensive position.

The velociraptor reverted to its original form.

"That's what's wrong with 'this'," Beast Boy said. "I would never hurt you, but even though you know that, you were still afraid."

"There's a difference between startled and afraid."

"You saw me change but only reacted when it looked like I was about to attack you. If you were startled, you would've just jumped. Instead you got ready to defend yourself."

She stood up and wiped some dust off her cloak.

"Now imagine if they had just a few years more to work on me," he added. "You'd already be dead. And you call that human?"

As much as she hated to admit it, she knew he was right. Not about being human, but if that facility really was trying to make him a mindless killer, and if they had succeeded, then Beast Boy would be unstoppable. The primal thing he had in him now was merely a side effect of the genetic poisoning he'd undergone in the past. He wouldn't allow it to grow because he was capable of controlling himself. But if he hadn't been rescued when he did, he wouldn't be able to control anything. Just a monster with the purpose to destroy.

That's when it hit her.

"If you're not human," she said, "then why aren't you what they told you you are?"

"What?"

"Why haven't you annihilated this entire city by now? Why haven't you done what you were always told to do?"

"Because it's wrong, I know it's wrong," he answered.

"If an animal is trained to do something, right or wrong, it's going to do what it's told no matter what. It won't know what right or wrong is. A weapon can't control itself, someone else controls it. You're not the animal. You're its master. You're not the weapon. You're the one who controls it."

He looked down at his hand and flexed it a few times.

"All the animals you change into are your weapons. Nobody else chooses the animal you want. Nobody else controls what those animals do."

"Yeah, you make a point…"

"Earlier you told me I was forced, but you had a choice. You have a choice now, with all the animals you can change into, if you want to be a human or not."

A lone tear fell from his chin and he replied, "I've never thought of it that way before. I think I'll be a human. But by choice this time, not by what some scientist tells me."


	4. Chapter 4

Beast Boy put a hand over Raven's back as she rested on his chest, and pulled the bedsheets over the both of them. He'd wondered all week now if she was really okay sleeping with him knowing what happened. And he couldn't help but wonder if she was okay sleeping with a human or a former government plaything. He chose to call himself human, but that didn't necessarily mean he was one. In her eyes he was though…so…whatever she wanted.

He must've done something without noticing because she looked up and said, "I can't go another round. You were rough and tumble."

He smirked. "You sure, Rae-Rae? I think I still got some juice in the tank."

"You filled me up plenty."

The room shed its black energy back into Raven, who rolled onto her back and stretched.

"You were restless yesterday, too," she said.

"What can I say? I always have energy to spare. So am I allowed to spend the night in your room or am I going to be kicked out again?"

"Night? It's early morning. Robin will be up in a few hours and we haven't gotten any sleep." She opened a portal to his room in front of her bed. "Out, Garfield."

"You know you're the only one who can call me that," he said.

He gathered his clothes and stepped through her portal, exchanging them for pajamas as she closed it.

He didn't exactly know why he was, as she had put it, 'restless' lately. It wasn't normal. He wasn't like that. It almost felt like some subtle change. Almost. It could be paranoia. He hadn't even _thought_ about those scientists in a very, very long time.

He called them just 'scientists' in front of Raven, in front of the Doom Patrol, to keep them from knowing how much he remembered even at such a young age. But he could identify every kind of scientist that worked there. Chemists, biologists, paleontologists, geneticists… Big words little kids weren't supposed to know.

Morph. Kill. The two words he remembered most. But back then he couldn't do it, he couldn't morph right. Every time he ended up with just one wing, or a hoof, or a spiked tail. They called it a partial morph, but they didn't _want_ a partial morph. They wanted it all. But…there were too many animals, he didn't know all of them and worse, he didn't know how to change into them.

Morph. Kill. They would put him, and many others, in a glass chamber. And they would all be forced to fight but the only way to win, to survive, to defend themselves, was to grow savage claws and bare horrible fangs just in hopes to intimidate the others, with no actual fighting involved.

He would watch snake fangs pop out of a human head and seep venom. Tiny spider legs from someone's sides and one dragonfly wing from their back. A dinosaur tail that was far too heavy to drag around. A giraffe neck that threw off balance. If someone was lucky enough to manage two wings, they would be mixed up between a bat and a sparrow.

Morph. Kill. But nobody could do that, and it soon became apparent that killing was their purpose and they had to morph to serve that purpose. Many children had already fallen prey to such brainwashing. They focused only on the most fully weaponized animals they had in them, and tried to become those animals only to fail again and again.

Morph. Kill. They started to figure out how to grow claws and fangs and they were starting to use that against each other. Even he was guilty of the same thing, usually throwing himself into the fray of the battle. When he did—when anyone did—the floor was painted dark red. Nobody focused on evasion, ever, it was all about power and strength and who could rip someone to shreds. The 'weak' and 'slow' had no place among them.

Morph. Kill. And as the children grew so too did their powers. They would destroy everything and everyone who crossed their path and the glass chamber that used to contain them would no longer hold such vicious beasts. The next time, there were bars thick enough to hold the world's largest tank in place. And by that time, tanks were what they had become. Right and wrong were completely irrelevant to them. Morals, there were no such things.

Morph. Kill. Aggression was all that mattered. Weakness of any kind was intolerable. Everyone had become quick thinkers. And with that thinking, allies were formed. So were enemies. Unfortunately anyone who had learned how to fully morph couldn't make it past anything bigger than a lemur. No flying yet. No speed yet. And who needed speed when you had every bit of power at your fingertips… That innocent-looking child finger was about to slash through living flesh. That cute little loose tooth was about to pierce through solid bone.

Morph. Kill. Now fight dirty. Aim for the eyes so they can't see. Aim for the throat for a one-strike kill. Go for the heart when you know you have the chance. If need be, rip them limb from limb. Kill them somehow, it doesn't matter. Even if they bleed to death and you don't do anything to finish it, it's your victory. Your kill.

Morph. Kill. Back then, if you weren't bathing in blood, you didn't do it right. If there were no dead bodies, no living creatures, nothing to destroy, you _needed_ more. You needed something to maul, you didn't want to rest, this wasn't playtime, you needed something to destroy. It didn't matter if you were outmatched or outnumbered, if there was anything there, you went for it even if you knew it would cost you your life.

By the time the Doom Patrol found him, killing had become everything to him. He alone had killed countless more of his kind. His allies, and all allies, had turned against him and everyone else. There was no such thing as a friend. There was no trust. There was no emotion.

The only reason he had allowed them to carry him away was because the facility was coming down, and it had already killed everyone he was supposed to. He wanted to kill them too but one fight after another, for days on end with no breaks, had exhausted him. He passed out.

When he did wake up, he found himself in the Doom Patrol's headquarters. In a glass box with a few little holes on the top.

 _Just like before._

 _He jumped up immediately and scanned the box for enemies. Anyone was an enemy. Everyone was an enemy. They all had to be brought down. Everything, everyone, had to be annihilated._

 _"Diabolical…" a man growled from somewhere else in the room._

 _He looked behind him. There were many monitors, and a man standing right in front of them. Those monitors showed exactly what the other facility showed. So logically speaking, this was definitely just another one, or he had been out so long that they rebuilt it. Hopefully the latter wasn't the case because that meant everyone else had the time to progress without him._

 _"So he really is just another product of a madman. Why not," a…well he kind of looked like a mummy…said._

 _"I don't think he's some product, just look at him. He's a living, breathing…thing," a woman said as she came over to examine his box, or him, whichever._

 _"Kid looks like he wants out to me, Mento," a bronze man said._

 _This…'Mento' came over from the monitors to stand beside the woman. The mummy man wasn't far behind. The bronze man stayed just a little off to the side, but still in perfect view._

 _"We still don't know much about him," Mento said. "All I know so far is that he was made to fight."_

 _"Steve, come on, he's just a kid. Look at him. He's probably scared to death," the woman argued._

 _"He may look like a kid, Rita, but that doesn't make him any less dangerous. He can turn into anything you_ don't _want to go up against in the blink of an eye. And judging from all the blood on him, I'd say he doesn't have much of a problem doing what he was made to do."_

 _"He could've been forced to fight," the mummy said._

 _"Yeah," the bronze man agreed. "I mean we still don't know what they did."_

 _"We can at least try to help," Rita said, pushing the idea of letting him out._

 _"Rita, we have no idea what this…thing…is capable of. It could be like trying to help a gun. No conscience. A weapon can't be helped. This creature is a weapon," Mento/Steve explained. "He could have powers beyond our imaginations, and we don't know what it is. It might be best for everyone if we just terminat—"_

 _"No!" Rita shouted. "You said he's a weapon, but have you ever seen a weapon like this before? You said we don't know much about him so let's find out. I don't care what you say, we are_ not _terminating a child!"_

 _Mento sighed and looked at the bronze man and the mummy man, almost as if asking their opinion on the matter._

 _"I'm with Rita," the bronze man said. "I can't stand by knowing a little kid is going to die by our hands."_

 _"Same," the mummy man agreed. "Kid's had it hard enough, we should give him a chance."_

 _"I know how you are, Mento, but you have to understand. He's not some mechanism you can just shut down. He's more than that. He's alive," Rita said._

 _Mento looked at each person individually before sighing again and unlocking the side of the cage. The door opened and instantly, freedom was reached as he morphed into a rabbit and hopped on top of the cage. He reverted back to his human form and waited for any movement he could find, because movement was a big trigger in a living body. Anything dead would make no moves but anything living had to…_

 _"We won't hurt you," Rita said._

 _"Make sure he can't go outside," Mento told everyone._

 _He growled deeply, enough to surprise them all, which he took as intimidation. Weakness. They weren't fighting anybody, they weren't even fighting each other. He shot off the top of the cage and summoned bull horns on his head, aiming himself at Mento._

 _"Wait!" someone yelled from the side._

 _Morph._

 _Kill._

 _Something Mento did pushed him backwards even in the air, and seemed to slingshot him against a wall. He didn't quite know what, but they were capable of some animal he didn't know about, because that had never once happened before. And he'd seen a lot of things and fought a lot of battles._

 _He turned one arm into a tiger's and pressed his claws into the wall, slowing himself to a stop before he could hit the floor._

 _One thing he'd learned: if you were down you were dead._

 _"That's it? That's the best he can do," the mummy man drawled._

 _If he couldn't hit Mento, then that mummy man would have to do, then it might rile them up enough to see this was a fight. He didn't really understand it in the first place, how they could all just stand there near each other, not even analyzing their opponents' moves or strengths or weaknesses…_

 _No. Never mind the mummy man. The bronze man looked much stronger and if he could take the strongest out, everything would be easier. Maybe Mento would be easier too, more intimidated by his strength._

 _The bronze man stood there as he charged, laughing and belittling him, as though he wasn't worth the battle and couldn't do anything to hurt anyone. But he knew on his own, his strength was nothing, but facing the strength of a gorilla would be a different story._

 _"What the—"_

 _The bronze man was hammered to the wall with huge hands. He heard footsteps coming towards him and quickly produced a club tail, swinging it behind him and knocking down anyone standing in his range. Both arms and tail simultaneously flashed back into him._

 _"Kid's a powerhouse…" someone mumbled._

 _He jumped back to keep all his enemies in sight at once, back turned toward none. The mummy man just stayed on the ground, presumably dead. The bronze man was slow to get up, but so were Rita and Mento._

 _Maybe they weren't like him. Maybe this was a test. Yes. They were testing him, using themselves to do it, to see if he was really capable of harming humans instead of just his kind. But they weren't fighting back. That was a problem. He didn't know what they could and couldn't do. They could be waiting for the perfect moment to strike him down. To kill him the way he'd killed others. And he could kill more. He wasn't afraid of some weak human that couldn't even defend itself, that had no chance against him._

 _But they weren't against him. They weren't resisting. All they did was dodge his attacks, nothing more. Something didn't add up here…_

 _In any case, they were still there, which meant they had to die, and he had to be the one to kill them. He_ would _be the one to kill them, even if it was the last thing he ever did._

 _The bronze man had gotten back up, which meant he hadn't yet eliminated the strongest._

 _He morphed into a mouse and dashed toward the bronze man so fast nobody could keep track of his tiny form. It didn't take but a second to get in front of the bronze man and when he did, he morphed back into a human with kangaroo legs. He flipped onto his hands and delivered an uppercut so strong it pushed the bronze man back several feet._

 _He didn't have enough time to see if the bronze man had died or lived. Whatever force had pushed him back before hit him again from the side, easily slamming him into the wall and clouding his vision and balance._

 _"There's no hope for him," Mento said. "Killing is all he knows."_

 _"I don't believe that!" Rita argued._

 _"This beast-boy is a threat to humanity. He is a creature, Rita, not a person."_

 _"Take a look at him one more time and tell me he doesn't seem at all like a human to you."_

 _"He used animal parts to try to kill us. If not for my powers and will to fight an abomination, we would all be dead right now."_

 _"Abomination? Is that what he is to you? He is a child, Steve. He can't help what happened to him."_

 _"I agree that he can't help it. But some things can't be fixed after they're broken."_

 _Rita moved in front of him as if to shield him from something._

 _"I'm not letting you do this," she said._

 _Perhaps she wanted to form an alliance. But for foes who refused to fight back, an alliance wasn't necessary, or wanted._

 _Despite unclear vision and an off balance, she was in range, and he turned one arm into that of a bear's, raised his claws, and— The force hit them both, knocking him back into the wall and knocking her into him._

 _"Steve!"_

 _"Look behind you," Mento/Steve told her._

 _She turned just in time to see his vicious bear claws turn back into weak human fingers._

 _"Change doesn't happen overnight," she said._

 _He couldn't stay awake long enough to hear the rest of their conversation. He was exhausted, thirsty, hungry, and although he didn't want to sleep, he could feel his mind fade._

 **-TO BE CONTINUED-**


	5. Chapter 5

**-CONTINUATION OF CHAPTER 4-**

 _He assumed they would kill him. But they didn't. He woke up. He was alive, for some reason, but he was greatly restricted by chains and cuffs in different places. One around his neck, two around his wrists, one large one around his stomach, and two around his ankles. They were all connected to a corner in a room unlike any he'd seen before._

 _He stood up in unfamiliar surroundings. Table. Chairs. One big monitor that currently showed nothing but a black screen. Two doors, one on one wall and the other on the wall perpendicular to it. There was something that looked soft over under the table but he couldn't investigate it, or anything else for that matter. The chains were all too short. They were good for staying in one place but that was about it. It looked like they gave him somewhere around ten feet of chain._

 _"You're awake," someone said._

 _He looked up to find Rita, the fool who had stood right in front of him. He growled at her. It was the only thing he could do at this point._

 _"Don't worry," she said, "I only came by to check on you. Can you talk?"_

 _His mouth became a wolf's, all deadly fangs included, and he snapped at her. She jumped back on instinct and he would've followed, attacked, won, but the chains held him back. He growled again, more threateningly this time, and only morphed back when she was far enough away._

 _Morph and kill were hardly options this time._

 _And he was hungry. There was no food. He was thirsty. There was no water. He was itching to get out of these chains but clearly that wasn't happening. So what now? There was nothing in range he could destroy or kill… There was nothing to do…_

 _He wanted to sleep again to pass time, but he wasn't tired. All he could do was sit there._

 _For hours._

 _And hours._

 _And hours._

 _Until finally the bronze man came into the room, followed by the mummy man. He remained silent but never lost his cold glare._

 _"Kid hasn't done anything for a long time," the bronze man said._

 _"Yeah, because he can definitely go around ripping our couch to shreds," the mummy man replied._

 _"Think he's hungry? What do we feed him?"_

 _"Food sounds nice."_

 _"You know what I mean, Negative Man. We still don't really know what he is so…I'm not exactly sure what he eats…" the bronze man mumbled._

 _"Well, according to Mento, he's just an abomin—"_

 _"Oh come on, don't say that. I mean look at him. He's kinda cute, in his own, violent sort of way."_

 _"He tried to kill us. Nothing about that is cute," Negative Man said._

 _The bronze man walked over to a cabinet and pulled out a red bag, and brought it over to him._

 _"You like chips, little buddy?" the bronze man asked as he pushed the red bag over to him._

 _He looked the bronze man straight in the eye and growled in the same way he had when they first met._

 _"Wow. Someone's cranky," Negative Man said as the bronze man backed away._

 _"Eh. I get cranky too. No big deal. We'll just let him eat—"_

 _"Hey, Cliff. He's probably thirsty too."_

 _"Yeah, you're handling that one," 'Cliff' replied._

 _"What am I supposed to do, give him a dog bowl?"_

 _"He can probably change into a dog."_

 _"I'm not giving the kid a dog bowl."_

 _"You're both being so immature…" a voice sighed as it walked back into the room. It was Rita. "Just give him a glass of water and if he gets thirsty enough he'll drink it."_

 _"Dare you to get close enough to give him water," Cliff said._

 _She went to another cabinet, got out a glass cup, went to a sink, and filled it up with water. Then she stopped, right at the end of his range, and set the water down._

 _He left it there. He left everything where it was and didn't move until the room was completely empty. And when it was, he grabbed the water and tore open the bag. Supposedly it contained 'chips', which, as he pulled something out, looked like a yellow circle. It didn't look very appetizing but he was starving and there wasn't any other choice. But when he tried one, suddenly they were the most appetizing thing he'd ever tasted. But when they were gone, that water looked pretty good too…_

 _He didn't sleep that night. He didn't sleep the next day either, or the next, or the next… Even though every inch of him was screaming to sleep, he just couldn't. Sometimes they got up in the middle of the night and he didn't want to be asleep when they did._

 _For weeks, anyone in that room would receive a cold stare until they left. Eventually he got used to them coming in and out and only tried to look threatening when they came near him. They usually stayed away. The only exceptions were food and water._

 _It had to be about two or three months before he finally accepted that they were never going to leave this building, or him. He was bored, there was still nothing to destroy, and the days became dull and eventless. He was just there. He was just existing._

 _The only person he would let very close without snapping was Rita, only because she treated him differently than the others. She brought him different kinds of food, she brought him new drinks to try, and he was never able to push her away like he could the rest of them. Never did he let her touch him or get too close, but he did tolerate her more than anyone else. And Mento took a full note of that._

 _The one night he did finally sleep turned into the morning he woke up in something warm. Sometime during the night, Rita had snuck in and put a blanket around him. It was a definite concern that he didn't wake up from that, but after that night, and the several to come, he somehow knew Rita's intentions._

 _"Why are you doing this?" he asked one day, when Rita was the only one in the room._

 _She looked around, eyes settling back on him._

 _"Did you just…?"_

 _"Why haven't you already killed me?"_

 _She moved over to be with him, within his range of attack, yet he wouldn't attack her even though he had so many chances._

 _"Well, that would be murder," she answered._

 _"What's murder?"_

 _"Murder is when you kill someone. It's a bad thing to do."_

 _"Bad?"_

 _"Yes, very bad. You should never murder."_

 _"But it's good if you win. Right, Rita?"_

 _"No, it's… Win or lose, whatever it is, murder is wrong."_

 _"But you said it's killing. Killing is good."_

 _"No. Killing is also bad."_

 _"Why?"_

 _She looked thoughtful for a second. "Would you want me dead?"_

 _"No."_

 _"Why is that?"_

 _"I don't know…"_

 _And he really didn't know. He still felt such a strong drive to kill, something he couldn't ignore. He still believed that at any second, something would kick in and he would be…as they said…doing what he was made to do. But now he wasn't entirely sure what that meant. 'Made to do.' That phrase was no stranger to him. He'd heard it a million times, practically nonstop, when he was still in the stage of being told what he was 'made to do' and that he 'had to do it'. There was no option. There was no choice. If he couldn't kill…a-and he couldn't kill now, the chains held him back… Back in the facility he'd never once questioned why he had to kill because he was 'made to do it'. That was the answer, no questions needed._

 _Now he did wonder though. Part of him felt like maybe he did have a choice to permanently stop. But if he stopped killing then what was he 'made to do' then? What was his new purpose? Why was he even restraining himself now? She was right in front of him. He could kill her in an instant. He knew he could if he really wanted to, so why didn't he? Why was he even wondering this at all? Why was he daring to go against this? He had to kill, he was made to kill, so why wasn't he?_

 _Was he…scared? Did this mean he was…weak? No. It couldn't be. He had gotten many injuries from those fights but he had won, he was the victor every time. Granted there were several others that remained, and they would be separated after an amount of time, but that didn't mean he'd lost. He had survived and that meant he would be able to kill again._

 _But these people, these…scientists of some kind…they were introducing something new here. He didn't like it. All he could do was tolerate it._

 _For now._

 _All the memories of his previous kills flooded back to him and made him realize that they were trying to make him weak so he wouldn't be able to fight them in the future, but before he could do anything with some kind of force, even if intimidation alone, she held a stern finger in front of his face._

 _"No," she said._

 _He blinked, taken aback by her boldness, and looked from her finger to her._

 _"You get a crazed look in your eyes when you want to hurt someone," she explained. "We did some more research. Your whole life you were taught that destruction was all there was for you, until finally all you knew was killing."_

 _"Killing is everything!" he shouted._

 _She pulled her finger back and sat cross-legged._

 _"Do you really believe that?" she asked._

 _"If you're not bathing in blood you didn't do it right," he quoted. "And you can't say that's not true."_

 _"Who told you that?"_

 _"The holes on the ceiling."_

 _She stared at him for a second. He could see something in her eyes. He'd only seen it before in foes that were still only partial-morphers; ones that were in great pain, or the weak ones who showed an overabundance of fear right before they died. He did nothing to Rita, he didn't even try to intimidate her. Maybe she was just too weak._

 _She got up to leave the room, leaving him alone. Again. Even separated, nobody in that building felt alone, especially not for prolonged periods of time. They would all see each other again, up close and personal. The scientists made sure of that._

 _He sighed and looked over the chains for the hundredth time. No animal he had in stock could break them. If he could fully morph that would be different, but… No. Escape was for the weak. Standing up and fighting no matter what the circumstances, that was strength. He would fight shackled and he would do it right. He would kill. He would shred. He would cover himself in the victorious blood of the fallen._

 _He looked down and imagined the white floors of his former home painted dark red. The sounds of roars and screeches. Someone, somewhere, screaming. Flesh and limbs being ripped apart and the victim still alive to feel it. Someone being thrown and bashed against the walls or bars. Claws scraping everything. The echoes from the holes in the ceiling chanting, "Morph. Kill."_

 _It was that atmosphere he found most comforting. He wasn't the only one to realize what really mattered in one short life. Everyone around him, against him, and he against them…they knew what he knew and they felt what he felt. They understood him and he understood them. There was no reason to kill. There didn't have to be a reason to kill._

 _Rita came back into the room, some look of resolve on her face. He had his own resolve… No one was going to trick him into becoming one of the earlier mentioned intolerable weaklings. His breathing quickened as he heard her approach him. The 'crazed look' in his eyes was hidden as long as he was looking down._

 _He stood up._

 **-TO BE CONTINUED-**


	6. Chapter 6

**-CONTINUATION OF CHAPTER 5-**

 _No sooner than she reached about three feet in front of him, his mouth morphed into a wolf's and he attacked with a deep-throated growl. His fangs dug into her arm. As he predicted, his swiftness surpassed hers, at least this once, and she only had the time to jump and defensively put an arm over herself._

 _She yelped but…seemingly more in surprise than pain or fear…_

 _"Why are you doing this?!" she cried._

 _He closed his eyes and stopped moving, stopped trying to force his fangs further into her. Her words cut through the chanting in his head like a sword. The conflict was immense, but he somehow managed to calculate that…Rita wasn't the enemy..._

 _He was._

 _His fangs retracted and his maw sank back into his head._

 _"I don't know," he squeaked as he took his mouth from her arm._

 _He looked her in the eye and his vision suddenly became blurry. He felt the familiar taste of blood on his teeth, lips, and tongue. But there was something inside he couldn't explain. It was foreign, but, it was definitely there. He hated it._

 _She groaned and walked away, out of the room entirely, and didn't even look back at him._

 _A whole different kind of pain washed over him and something wet and warm rolled down his cheek. Venom. She carried venom in her body. It was the only conclusion he could come to…_

 _He looked at the floor again. A small pool of blood had formed from Rita's arm. The pain intensified. He didn't want to attack her again, ever. Why did he attack her to begin with? What reason did he have for it? She didn't do anything to trigger something._

 _He reached up to touch the one protruding fang that would never go back in, no matter how many times he morphed. He used to see it as an asset. A tool to show off to opponents. Teeth were the first things you wanted to avoid, always. Claws were for slashing but teeth, used in battle, were sharp, hooked, and lethal. Sometimes they were even venomous. So to see a tooth outside, nice, long, sharp… It posed a sense of power, something to run from or try to be more dangerous than. But this time… It was...it was bloodied. That was normal, but this was Rita's blood. Never again did he want his mouth tainted with her blood._

 _He backed up all the way into the corner and sat, pulling his knees to his chest. Eventually his vision cleared up, but that pain hadn't gone away._

 _"I told you, that beast-boy creature is not like us," he overheard Mento say. "You can't override his directive, Rita, he_ will _keep killing."_

 _"I've seen a huge change in him," Rita retaliated._

 _"He has nothing but murderous intents, no matter how you see it. He'll get older. He'll get stronger. He'll learn how to completely morph. You just saw how he tricked you into getting close enough for a kill."_

 _"That's not true. He struggles to keep himself under control. He's not some mindless killer, he's been misled his whole life. Somehow they've trained him to react to any situation with violence."_

 _"Then tell me, Rita, what trigger he had this time."_

 _"I'm not sure. Like you said, he's meant to be a weapon. Maybe he was just following that… A lapse of self-control."_

 _"He won't have self-control, he is a_ weapon _."_

 _"They_ tried _to make a weapon, Steve, but they didn't succeed with him. You have to remember, he's still just a child. Do you really expect any child to understand that everything they've been taught is wrong, all their life?"_

 _He put his head on his knees and frowned. This was the reason he didn't want to attack Rita. She was the only one who treated him like he could be something else. Like he was truly capable of change. She saw any progress he made, even when he himself didn't. He could imagine himself ripping anyone else to shreds without a moment of hesitation, but he couldn't even let himself imagine doing that to her…_

 _He used to be able to. And he used to try to. What came over him this time, he didn't know._

 _That night, he didn't sleep. He chose to stay curled up, like he had all day. All food and water was left where it was. The venom had made him lose his appetite anyway… Even throughout the next few days, he hardly moved, barely ate or drank, and didn't say a word even to Rita. Despite all this, the others still stayed away from him. They kept an even farther distance ever since they saw Rita with a bandage on her arm, over the bite she had received… From him…_

 _One day while everyone else was outside, he decided to speak to her when she came by to give him some water._

 _"Rita?" he said._

 _"Yes?"_

 _"Remember you said you didn't know how the scientists 'trained me' to kill?"_

 _She scooted closer to him and he looked away, knowing she would consider this a horrible truth. To him, it was still just a truth. Not horrible, not great, just the truth._

 _"Yes," she said softly._

 _"I was a baby when they started giving me animal powers. They helped me learn how to use them, sort of. Every day all I heard was, 'Morph. Kill.' Then they put a lot of us into one big room. At first we didn't know what to do, then we started using our powers to hurt each other. After that they kept telling us, 'If you're not bathing in blood, you didn't do it right.' So we learned more about our powers and we got stronger. It got to the point where if you didn't kill someone, you would be killed instead. The more violent you were, it meant you did a good job. The weak ones got killed off. Then we got stronger again, and they put us in a big cage with strong bars. Nobody ever told us why we had to kill each other, we just did. So it got to where we never needed a reason to kill. If we had nothing to kill, we had nothing at all. I always had blood on me, and I always had the taste in my mouth. I got used to seeing a lot of blood all over the floor. There was a lot of screaming and death. I could hear everything. It was all I had to look forward to each day. All I had to do was what I was made to do."_

 _"You really didn't know anything else…"_

 _He shook his head._

 _"Is that why you attacked us at first?"_

 _He nodded._

 _"You felt like you had to kill everyone?"_

 _He nodded again. "I didn't know what else to do."_

 _"Do you feel bad about that?"_

 _He shook his head. "I never felt anything. I still don't."_

 _"You'll start feeling things. I'm actually glad you told me this."_

 _"Please don't tell anyone else…"_

 _"Why?"_

 _"They don't treat me like you do. They never even bother to fight me."_

 _"Well…" She cleared her throat. "It's kind of hard to explain that… They think since you're made to be a weapon, that's all you'll ever be. But just because someone tells you you're a weapon, that doesn't mean you have to be one."_

 _"What else can I be?"_

 _She smiled sweetly. "You can be whatever you want to be."_

 _"I know. It's just, I still can't morph—"_

 _"No, what I mean is, you can use your powers for other things. You don't have to kill," she said._

 _He looked at his hands, imagining them as the fierce claws that had ripped up so many. Part of him wanted to go back to the old days, when killing was everything, the only thing. Back when things weren't complicated at all. Back when he could freely do what he was meant to do. When he had to kill. When he needed to kill. When he could kill._

 _"No," Rita said firmly._

 _He blinked a few times and looked at her._

 _"But I didn't—"_

 _"You were thinking about it," she cut him off._

 _He sighed deeply. "Yeah. I was."_

 _"You have to stop thinking about it, unless you really do want to be a weapon."_

 _He didn't really know what he wanted at this point. He didn't want to attack Rita again. That, he was sure of. But to kill was his objective, it always had been. It felt right to kill. But Rita said it was wrong. But it felt right so how could it be wrong? And if it was wrong then why did it feel right?_

 _Over the few days his sense of direction had broken. Right and wrong were rewiring themselves. And it was always a conflict. He had to kill but he couldn't kill… It was wrong, right? Or…well…maybe… He didn't know how to answer that question. He couldn't listen to both Rita and himself. He was pulling one direction and Rita was pulling the other. He was torn like he'd never been before. The closest he had come to this in the past was choosing which animal was best suited to kill which opponent. It…this wasn't okay…he couldn't figure much out for himself._

 _Days turned to weeks and the struggle was still there, obviously intent on destroying his sanity. There were a few times he couldn't restrain the innate drive to kill someone, but everyone had learned to recognize the signs, like a foreshadowing of what was to come, and they were able to avoid it. They referred to these spells as 'episodes'._

 _But they were finally seeing improvement like Rita. It only took a few more weeks but he decided that he didn't want to kill anymore. And to keep it that way, he listened to Rita. It was wrong to kill. And as long as he didn't think otherwise, and as long as nobody talked about it, he could keep everything under control much easier than before._

 _When the day finally came that he was to be free, he was given a stuffed bear. Six months of reformation. That bear became his favorite toy. The chains and cuffs were disconnected from the wall, never to be seen again. And having known absolutely nothing outside of the facility, nature was new to him. He kept himself busy discovering many things that normal kids would walk right by._

 _And after a couple of years, Rita persuaded the rest of the Doom Patrol to let him train with them and hone his skills. At long last he could fully morph into any animal up to a medium-sized dog, which worked quite well when they decided not just to take him in as a member of the house, but as part of their team and family as well. He was named Garfield after his favorite TV feline, and because nobody honestly knew what he had become due to so many genetic alterations, he became known as Beast Boy, the beast-boy shapeshifter._

He had a name. Home. Friends. Family. A team. They helped him work with his powers and against his instincts. And nobody had brought it up in years… Until finally Raven did… Why she even cared was beyond him. She wasn't normally the type to get too involved in someone else's personal life. It was strange even to him and he knew her better than anyone else.

Whatever the reason, he wished so much she had never made him remember that. He may have been very young but he had many memories of that dreadful place, and what he did there. What he did to the Doom Patrol. To Rita… If not for her he would've been dead right now. And if not for the Doom Patrol he would still be slaughtering his own kind, along with so many innocent people…

"I'll never let you win again…" he muttered to any of those instincts that might've leaked through with those memories.


	7. Chapter 7

Beast Boy woke up the next 'morning' and raced to 'breakfast' as soon as he noticed the time. He and Raven both would need a little time apart during the night to catch up on real sleep. She was only drinking hot coffee but he could tell even under her hood that she was just as tired as him.

And… And Aqualad was hovering by her again… That was all the energy boost he needed.

He was going to march over to shove Aqualad away but stopped in his tracks when Raven cast a short but very cold glance his way. She did…sort of have reason... She had every intention of keeping their relationship secret. Having Beast Boy constantly shooing away Aqualad, who thought she was still single, would make everyone too suspicious for her comfort.

It wasn't that she was embarrassed to be seen with Beast Boy, but the Titans treated her like family, and as polar opposites…it would look…well…strange. She wasn't very sure how they would react to it, and she wasn't sure if she could deal with any tension or awkwardness that might come with the news. It helped greatly that Beast Boy felt the same way. They'd been hiding it for eight months now. They'd had ups and downs but always stayed together. Neither of them planned to let that change.

Although at the moment, with Aqualad always around flirting, she really wished everyone knew. And she knew Beast Boy felt the same. Now if he would just stop giving Aqualad such a hard time here…

She swore it had to be an animal thing, Beast Boy viewing it as competition simply because there was another man around with animal-oriented powers, as though _that_ was the thing she was attracted to.

…Men.

"As fascinating as the ocean is, I'll have to decline," she said, responding to, basically, his asking her on a date.

As Aqualad continued to flirt, clearly unable to take the hint that she was by no means interested in him, she could tell it was killing Beast Boy and she didn't know how much longer he could hold out watching this.

Thankfully Speedy came over to talk to him. Shortly after, Robin joined in the conversation, then Starfire. Mas, Menos, and Bumblebee were somewhere else. She didn't know, she didn't care. She had plenty of company with Aqualad.

She crossed her legs and just barely held back a yawn. She could feel her pillow beckoning her. She took another sip of coffee, which was hardly helping to keep her awake. No meditation available either. No quiet. The entire time, Aqualad had been an annoyance. Beast Boy's jealousy was also getting on her nerves. Mas and Menos were always speaking Spanish, which she didn't know, so that didn't help… On the upside, Starfire was out of her hair with so many others to talk to. No begging to do girly things.

Whatever Robin and Speedy had been talking about, it had made them leave their conversation with Beast Boy. Now only Starfire remained to keep him distracted from Aqualad _daring_ to be in her general vicinity.

She took another sip of her coffee and stared straight ahead, listening but futilely attempting to tune everyone out. It was hard, to say the very least. She thought things were noisy before the Titans East came…then they came…and now everything was so much louder. Peace had disintegrated. Focus was becoming a stranger to her. She now had the hardest of all times keeping her frustration from boiling over. Otherwise, that said impression on the Titans East _would_ be made. Clearly.

"My answer is no, just like it was the last time, and the time before that, and the time before that," she said to Aqualad.

If a blatantly solid 'no' didn't get him off her back, nothing would. Except Beast Boy but…she didn't think it wise to even consider dragging him into this.

The thought disappeared just as quickly as it had come, and to her dismay, even though Aqualad did move on for other conversations, he picked Beast Boy of all Titans to converse with. She didn't know whether this was good or bad, but she was leaning towards bad. He was already heated enough just by seeing Aqualad near her, flirting or not, and had taken to a combative way of, in his eyes, getting rid of the competition. And it didn't look like he was too afraid to get a tad forceful, as she remembered him shoving Aqualad aside.

She got up, deciding it was probably for the best if she wasn't even in the same _room_ as Beast Boy when Aqualad was there, and took her coffee with her to her room to try to at least read on her bed in peace. Or, what little peace may or may not be left…

Meanwhile Beast Boy was all but forced to talk to Aqualad which, after wanting to chase him away from Raven for the longest of times, wasn't the best smile he had to show. It was hard to keep Raven completely out of the conversation. But his train of thought kept derailing as he imagined challenging Aqualad to an undersea competition to prove to his rival that he was unfit for Raven, if for no other reason. But then she would think of it as a 'male insecurity'. That wouldn't be very impressive to her, which he felt was needed since, even though he hated to admit it, Aqualad _was_ better looking. Slightly.

It also took him a while to notice, but that smile was too big and even looked fake. Either he was making too much of an effort, or he was unwittingly trying to show off his canines. The power tool he always used when he was little to frighten his enemies. And _everyone_ was an enemy back then. Aqualad he considered his rival in love, not necessarily an enemy. Maybe just a little bit of one but, not the kind he used to face.

He closed his mouth. Even though the longest canine was too long to keep hidden behind his lips, he made a note that he would need to find some way to make it less noticeable. It wasn't like he could push it down into his jaw, or paint it green… Behaving normally was the only solution he could think of, at least for now. Nobody was really used to seeing him flash it. But everyone was used to seeing it…well, when he wasn't trying to do anything with it.

He chose to believe he was just putting too much effort into pretending to be perfectly fine with Aqualad near Raven, because it would worry him sick if he ever believed he was actually using one of his built-in _weapons_ to attempt to make someone fear him. Especially if he didn't even notice he was doing it…

Besides, it had to be the effort thing. He wasn't happy about letting it slide every time Aqualad flirted with his _girlfriend_. In fact half the time he was sure he only did it for Raven's sake.

"Beast Boy, can I talk to you in private?" Aqualad asked, moving to the far end of the room and motioning for him to follow.

He did and waited for what he was sure would be another question. And if it was about Raven's likes and dislikes, he couldn't guarantee a peaceful way of answering that.

"Do you have a crush on Raven or something?" Aqualad asked.

Okay. Unexpected question but perhaps a chance to get him away from her. Or to at least stop flirting.

"No, why?"

Aqualad shrugged. "I don't know, I mean, you don't mind it when anyone else comes near her but when I do…"

"Well, yeah, what'd you expect? When she says no it means no." Even though he was at fault for pestering her about some things as well. "She's not interested in you but you keep flirting with her anyway, like a fly on poop. You won't leave her alone."

"Neither will you," Aqualad retaliated. "It's like every time she doesn't give you a 'get away' look, you start hovering around her."

"I'm allowed to do that. I'm her friend."

"It's starting to look more like you're trying to keep me away. Look, is she single?"

He wanted to badly to scream 'NO' but by some greater power, managed to swallow it and about as calmly as he could, say, "Yes."

"Does she have a crush?"

Again, somehow, he managed an opposing, "No."

"Then at least let me try. Raven's a cool girl, I'd really like to get to know her better. And I'd like to give her the chance to get to know me better too."

His eyebrow twitched and he had to take another mental reminder of what he might be doing with his fang. Nothing. So far so good.

"Listen, water boy, you leave Raven alone!" he shouted.

…Just to realize that the whole room had heard him. He sighed.

"Look," he said, more quietly and only after everyone returned to whatever they'd been doing. "Raven isn't interested and you won't be here long enough to make her interested. And maybe she does have a crush on someone and we just don't know about it."

Before Aqualad could say one more word about it, Beast Boy stormed out of the room and, unfortunately for Raven, barged into hers. Already knowing who it was and why he was here, she didn't even bother to look up from her book.

"He is a vile creature from the sea!" he yelled. "All he ever does is hang around you! Raven, Raven, Raven! 'Let me just go keep bothering her!' It's horrible! He doesn't even care how you feel! So what if you said no, like that'll stop him! He told me to 'let him try'! TO LET HIM TRY, RAVEN! And you can't do your meditation thing with him there!"

"I can think of a few other reasons I can't meditate…" she mumbled.

"He won't even let you drink coffee! And that's just coffee, WHAT IF IT WAS TEA?! What if he stopped you from drinking that tea you like so much?!"

"What a travesty."

"And it's not just about tea! He's always there! Always! He can't keep his hands to himself! He is always flirting with you! IT'S DRIVING YOU CRAZY, I CAN TELL!"

"Mmhm."

"And trust me, I get it! It's driving me crazy too! I mean he can't do that! What gives him the ri— What makes him think he can just go up to you, and keep asking you on dates?! That is not okay! He can't do that!"

"He is truly a horrible person."

"That's what I'm saying! And he said he'll try to get you to like him back!"

He half-growled, half-groaned and jumped face down onto Raven's bed, bouncing her up and knocking her book out of her hands. She sighed heavily. While he was right in that Aqualad didn't seem too keen on leaving her alone, he was burning with anger, jealousy, and testosterone right now. It wasn't something she wanted to be around at the moment.

"And what if you do end up liking him back?" he grumbled, his words muffled by the bedsheets. "I mean let's face it, he's handsome, he can breathe underwater too, and he can talk to fish."

And he said he had no insecurities…

She put one hand on his back and rubbed it.

"I don't like Aqualad, I love you. Nothing he ever says or does will change that," she said.

"He can talk to fish…"

"So what? You can _be_ a fish, he can't."

"He's hot…"

She pinched the bridge of her nose and asked, "Why are you so jealous of him?"

"Because, I don't want to lose you…"

She blushed and stopped rubbing his back to hold his hand.

"Garfield, I chose you eight months ago, and I've loved you ever since. I'm not going to give that up."

"I love you too, Rae-Rae. I know I shouldn't be jealous, I just…I don't know. It's hard to explain. It's like, I wanna protect you."

"But there's no danger."

"That's the confusing part…" he murmured.


	8. Chapter 8

Finally it was time for the Titans East to leave. Everyone else was fine but Beast Boy was more than glad to see Aqualad walk out that door. It had been eerily quiet in Jump City, Steele City…all cities…the world… The only actions around were minor burglaries, speeding, etc. And those were usually reserved for the local authorities. There were no villains, not even pathetic ones like Control Freak. It wasn't necessarily a letdown but…it would've been great to have the Teen Titans and Titans East leave while Beast Boy and Raven looked after the tower. Alone.

The only time they could ever be alone was to sneak around. Pretend to be patrolling the city when it was actually a date. But even then, patrolling often ended up with Raven going with someone else or by herself, or with him going with someone else or by himself. Dates were rare, unfortunately, and spending any time with each other _without_ drawing attention to it was hard. Moments like those begged to question if keeping all this a secret was even worth the while, all that effort put into hiding what they both halfway considered a forbidden romance. It wasn't, of course, but the secrecy made it feel that way and kept them both from making an advance to tell anyone.

For a month their relationship had only been a liaison. But it was all they could do to keep any intimacy between them. Raven's room was by far the most private area in the entire tower, so even if it was just to cuddle—which, incredibly, Raven liked—they would both have to go to her room. And Beast Boy couldn't ever stay in there very long, or get caught going in to begin with. She still had a habit of keeping her room devoid of any other life form save for herself. She rarely, if ever, let anyone in. And Beast Boy, the one who liked to express his curiosity in all the worst ways, was definitely not allowed.

Or so they thought. He had his own ways of getting in that she didn't even try to stop. The air vent was his favorite, it seemed. Those powers of his weren't useful _only_ for combat. It was getting out fast that he had more trouble with. Either getting out, or hiding.

Once more Beast Boy ruined another attempt at meditation, but this time not with another rant about how awful Aqualad was.

He popped up behind her.

"Rae-Raeeeee," he teasingly whispered.

"Hm?"

"Come with me."

He opened her window, morphed into a sparrow, and flew out into the night sky. It made tracking him harder than it should be, but her sensory skills made it easier to manage. She followed with little difficulty.

The night was perfect. The weather, the temperature, the stars, the moon…everything.

Beast Boy made his way down to a lamp post on the outskirts of Jump City and landed there. Raven softly lowered herself to the sidewalk below and looked up at a faintly seen dark green bird still sitting quietly— _too_ quietly—on the top of the lamp, staring outwards more to the other end of the street.

"Garfield?" she said.

It caught his attention and he fluttered to the ground beside her before morphing back, still staring aimlessly in the same direction.

"Garfield?" she repeated.

He blinked a couple times and shook his head, but almost as if… If she didn't know any better it would look like he was giving himself an answer to some question she didn't know about.

He smiled and turned towards her. "Yes, dear?"

"Is everything okay?" she asked.

"Just getting a look at my surroundings," he answered. He pointed in the opposite direction he'd been looking. "We're going that way."

He wrapped an arm around her waist and led her onward.

"So I have a personal question for you," she said after several minutes of walking what appeared to be the scenic route to wherever he was taking her.

She felt him tense and his grip on her waist tightened significantly.

"I-I thought… Didn't you already talk to the Doom Patrol?"

Why he automatically assumed it was about his past, she didn't know, but Mento had said he was happiest when quiet about that, and that whatever they did back where they found him had traumatized him. He tried to get information before but couldn't because Beast Boy would "freeze". Having more recently scraped away at those memories probably left them raw on his mind. Maybe bringing it up at all had been a bad idea…

"It's not about that," she assured him.

His muscles relaxed and he breathed a deep sigh of relief, which further confirmed what Mento said about him "freezing" if he was pushed. If she were to continue digging into his past then yes, he probably would've frozen up after a certain point. The secrecy of it somewhat bothered her, but to a minimal extent. He knew every inch of her and it still felt like she didn't know but maybe half of him. Still, if it was really that hard—potentially even impossible—for him to talk about, then it was best not to push it. She had already gotten plenty of information as it was.

"I was actually wondering if you wanted to have kids in the future."

He looked surprised for a moment but replied, "I always did want kids. At least one, anyway. Why?"

She shrugged. "I was just wondering in case, you know, we ever—"

"Wait, wait," he interrupted. "I said I wanted kids, I never said I'm able have them."

"What do you mean?"

He sighed. "With my DNA as messed up as it is, it'll never happen."

She took his hand and moved it from her hip to her lower stomach, which in turn got her a confused look.

"It already did," she told him.

He stopped walking and slowly inhaled as he let her words sink in. His expression showed a cocktail of emotions, as if he was trying to solve a puzzle of some sort. Like he didn't believe her, or had yet to believe her.

"You…you mean…"

She nodded.

"You're…"

She nodded again.

"You're not joking?"

She shook her head.

"There's no hidden cameras or anything, right?"

She shook her head again.

A smile bigger than the Cheshire cat's grew on his face as he scooped Raven up and spun her around. His excitement became so contagious that she couldn't help but laugh with him, her nervousness dispelling.

He stopped and set her down.

"I'M GONNA BE A DAD!" he screamed happily. Then he looked back at her and said, "How long do I have to wait?"

"I think I'm about a month along so, around eight months," she answered. "If I'm right."

In all fairness she'd actually only found out a few days ago, but had wanted to wait until the tower was empty before telling Beast Boy. There was also the issue of anxiety, not knowing how he would react to all this. She had braced herself for anything, running through all the options in her head before settling on asking him if he even wanted kids first. Needless to say it went much better than she'd expected. She didn't really know what she would've done had he not been so okay with this—or in this instance, far beyond _just_ okay.

He pulled her tightly into a kiss, something that helped to reassure her this was what he truly wanted, and that he wasn't stringing some believable lie just to spare her.

"We have to tell everyone," he said once he let her go.

"What?"

He turned and began running back to the tower.

"Yeah! Raven, this is… We have to go t—"

She immediately cut him off both physically and verbally, one by erecting a black barrier in front of him right in time for him to run straight into it; and the other by walking up to him and putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I don't want anyone to know about this yet. Not about us, not about the baby. Not yet," she said calmly.

He stood in shock for a few moments but seemed to snap out of it pretty quickly.

"But you're pregnant. Hiding a relationship is one thing but it's not like you can hide a baby. You'll show sooner or later and when you do…" He let his voice trail off for effect.

She took a deep breath and bit her lip.

"I know. Call it procrastination. I've thought about it a little and my cloak can hide it for at least a few months. That should be plenty of time to figure out how to tell everyone else…everything."

He kicked at the ground a bit.

"I'm kind of tired of keeping us a secret, Raven… I love you, I want to be with you, and I want everyone else to know that too."

"I'm tired of it too," she admitted. "But what do you think Robin would say if he knew about this?"

He tried to put on a goofy smile to lighten the mood. "Lucky guy?"

"No, I'm serious. It's been almost a year, how do you think he would react to that? Starfire, we both know she would be happy, but Robin? And even Cyborg…"

"They would be really shocked at first, but who wouldn't be? This is a really big deal. If we don't tell them now they'll be hit with a double whammy. First we're in a relationship, and on top of that you're pregnant."

"They'll be hit with that no matter what."

"And the longer we wait the worse it'll be. Please, Raven, I'm _begging_ you, let's come out with it now. I…I want to be able to hold you any time and I want to be able to kiss you and everyone be fine with it. And I'm so excited that we're going to have a baby, now you're telling me I have to wait _months_ to show it."

She nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah, I am telling you that. I'm looking forward to seeing what's growing inside me for the first time. It's my baby too, and as easy as it would be for us to tell them now, there's just one little problem. _I'm_ the one who's pregnant. Between the two of us, I'll be taking the spotlight. I'm not ready to deal with all that yet. I was nervous enough about telling you and you're the _father_."

He exhaled and ran a hand through his hair.

"Fine," he conceded. "You win. We'll wait."

No sooner than he finished what he was saying did he look over his shoulder. His expression became intense within seconds.

"What's back there that you're so interested in?" she asked.

But whatever it was, it had captured his undivided attention. It probably wasn't on purpose, but he'd tuned her out focusing on whatever lurked in the dark. Whatever it was obviously had no intention of being seen, but perhaps Beast Boy could sense something she wasn't able to. Which…which really made no sense… Even from the start she could sense someone's presence, at least within her general vicinity. But this time…

"Garfield, what's back there?" she tried again.

"We should probably get back to Titans Tower," he said. "It's getting late and sleep and stuff and I need you to open a portal to your room."

"What…?"

He cleared his throat. "We _really_ need to sleep so we should get back home as quick as we can, like, immediately kind of quick, so that portal would come in really handy."

"Garf—"

He grabbed her shoulders and looked her in the eye.

"OPEN A PORTAL _NOW_ , RAVEN!" he shouted.

She jumped but reached out to the side and opened a black portal anyway. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her through with him.

"Now close it," he commanded. " _Now_."

She did as she was told but he never acted like this and certainly never bossed her around like that. Not until now at least…

" _What_ is going on here?" she asked.

He took a sharp breath and answered, "Nothing. I just think it's a good idea for both of us to get some sleep."

He started towards her door but she wouldn't allow an escape from a completely new list of questions she had for him. And it was a _long_ list. So instead of a barrier, she encased them both in a dome. Even a charge from his strongest animals wouldn't be able to break it.

"In all the years I've known you, I've never once seen you act like that before," she said. "I ask again, _what_ is going on here? Or a better question, what's going on with _you?_ "

He scoffed but recovered in an instant.

"Nothing, nothing's going on 'here' or with me," he answered, banging on the dome to test its density.

"Except a lie," she added. "And don't try to morph. Nothing will break that."

"Let me out, Raven."

She shook her head.

"Please," he sighed. "I'm tired."

"Not too tired to scream at me."

"And I'm sorry for it. I just…I don't know what came over me, sorry," he said. "Now please, let me out of here."

"Do you not trust me?" she asked.

"Of course I do but there's nothing going on so _let me out of here_."

"Is that why you won't tell me?"

"There's nothing to tell!"

He punched the dome wall for emphasis.

"Why are you hiding anything concerning you?"

He morphed into a gorilla, despite what she said about an unbreakable wall, and tried to punch it again only to fail. He didn't even put the slightest of dents in it.

"Especially from me."

This time he used both hands to hammer the wall, only to be met again with no success.

"Why am I not allowed to know you?"

He morphed back and fell to his knees, looking longingly at her door. That alone told her the feeling of defeat was crushing. And although it was the last thing she wanted for him, _something_ had made him flip. It had caused a momentary change for the worse. And since there was no trigger, she somehow knew it was connected to his past—which she knew he hated talking about. But whatever it was just now, if he got more aggressive, then he could pose a threat to both mother and child and all things considered, this baby was practically a miracle. She didn't want to take any chances. Besides, maybe if she could help him get over what had happened to him—the memory of Mento's words lingered even now—he would be free and feel more open and trusting.

He sighed. "Because I've had enough rejection and I want to be a part of my child's life."

"What do you mean 'rejection'? I've never—"

"Not you," he interrupted. "Like I said before, I'm designed to be a weapon. When the Doom Patrol first found me, they knew that was what I was made for. Mento wanted to kill me thinking there was no hope for me, that I could never be anything more than a mass murderer."

She stared in shock as he kept his back turned to her, now sitting on his legs with his head hung, as if in shame.

"Wh-Why would he think—"

"I was designed to be a _weapon_ ," he interrupted again.

She bit her lip, knowing that pressing on was a bit risky in that she didn't exactly know where his red line was.

"But you're nothing like that," she said.

He shook his head and replied, "No, I'm not. But let me ask you something. What do you imagine I was like when I first met the Doom Patrol?"

She thought for only a second but realized in that second that she genuinely did not have an answer to his question.

As if sensing this, he answered it himself. "I tried to kill them… I was too weak back then and I couldn't morph into many animals. And all the strong animals were too hard to morph into so I could only use certain parts, and only one or two at a time. They only let me live because of Rita. I was a little kid, I was just seven years old. But all my life I had been taught that I had to kill, so that's what I tried to do."

"What…what changed that? You're so sweet now." And annoying, a prankster, easygoing, and mischievous…but still much better than a killer.

"Rita was the only one who really accepted me even though I never once questioned why exactly I had to kill. I didn't have a greater purpose back then. Only Rita thought I was capable of change, only she was nice to me. Mento and the rest, they all thought I would stay the same, that I couldn't be helped. Finally I started accepting Rita too. She told me that everything I knew was wrong. In the end, I believed her."

 **A/N**

 **Hey, just wanted to make a note that in this story the Titans are in their early to mid-twenties.**


	9. Chapter 9

Beast Boy had taken to sleeping with Raven over the past couple of months. She still wasn't willing to let anybody else know about her pregnancy or relationship with Beast Boy, and it was clear that he still felt the same about wanting to tell everyone, but she let him sleep with her as a sort of compensation for making him wait so long. There was an upside for him too, aside from just being able to sleep with her. Being as an amount of time _had_ passed, she was finally starting to show, which meant he could finally start to feel, and more often than not fell asleep with a hand over her stomach. Unfortunately her cloak was still very much able to hide her baby bump—she had reached what they both assumed to be around her third month—so the news could, and at Raven's insistence _would_ , wait a little longer. But with just a little more time there would be more evidence of their little secret.

And it bothered Beast Boy that she refused to talk about how she would tell everyone. And if he ever asked her, she shut him down. He never kept prodding her but only because mood swings had surfaced and he was usually her target. So he did everything he could to keep out of her red zone. It only worked to an extent and she was a ticking time bomb. _Something_ was bound to blow up, rip, crack, shatter, or melt sooner or later and he was the one who took the blame for it, usually under the excuse of somehow antagonizing her.

It was a good thing they would be forced to tell the other Titans because if she was right about being three months along, then he didn't know if he could take six more months of this. But he'd looked into it and from what he had gathered, all the symptoms of pregnancy would subside soon and she would return to normal, aside from her abdomen of course. Yes her cloak was still hiding it but anyone who looked at her more closely, without her cloak, could see she was pregnant. Once she hit her fourth month it would be over and her time would run out. If she didn't tell everyone else soon then her body would. And she knew it.

Which was why he couldn't understand what was holding her back anymore. Her stomach was really starting to swell, the clock was ticking, yet she still refused to utter a word about it. And him, he had no choice but to hold back every ounce of excitement and joy just to keep a secret that he was so _sick_ of keeping.

But she was right in that most of the attention would be on her instead of him. So he just had to wait, for now…

He also had a very slight suspicion that her hesitance was some worry of hers about what he'd done—and told her—a few months back. He had managed to avoid what triggered that, but at the expense of confessing a horrible thing he wished he could forget. He never brought it back up since then. She'd told him it wasn't his fault, that everyone was okay, that it was so far back in the past it shouldn't even matter now. But he hadn't told her just how vicious he used to be. How he practically tore into Rita's arm. Managed to put some scratches and dents in Cliff. Had to be knocked out by Steve just so the rest of them could live without killing a child first. Felt absolutely no remorse... Raven didn't know any of that. And she didn't know that he wasn't just _told_ he had to kill, he _did_ kill. Every day he took more and more lives and didn't care at all.

So for once, reversing his actions in the past and bringing a life _into_ the world made this baby all the more precious to him and all the more important.

He also assumed her pregnancy was why he'd been so angry at Aqualad. Neither of them knew it but she was pregnant that entire month the Titans East stayed with them. She obviously hadn't been able to tell but he had the instincts of every animal in existence, which meant somewhere inside he might've known all this time. And that "male insecurity" she had so kindly accused him of due to the overprotectiveness he couldn't explain before could've just been another animal instinct he was exhibiting, but didn't know it. It drew him closer to the conclusion that he knew way before she did but didn't realize it.

"We need to find you a doctor," he mumbled as he sat on the edge of her bed, one of his three pregnancy books in hand.

"I'm already eating healthy, getting rest, and taking extra vitamins," she replied as she lay down beside him. "No need for more mysterious disappearances."

"I've been thinking about that. I did a little snooping and found out Bumblebee and Jinx have gone to medical school. They might not be an OBGYN but it's better than nothing."

"No," she said curtly.

"Raven, this baby is not a normal baby, you _know_ that. No matter how good you take care of yourself there's still a lot that could go wrong. Jinx and Bumblebee know medicine, they both have powers, and they might know what to do if something happens."

She rolled over, turning her back to him.

"Why?" he groaned. "You're far enough along now, I mean, one or two more _weeks_ and there's no more hiding anything. What's keeping you from telling just one more person? Just one more! What's holding you back, what are you afraid of?"

She took a breath and said, "Judgment."

"And I'm not? That was the entire reason we hid our relationship for a year! We don't have a _choice_ anymore. This is not one of those 'forever secrets'," he replied. "And I don't know about you but I'm at my limit! I can't keeping lying and covering everything up and I can't keep sitting back watching _you_ lie and cover everything up."

He closed the book and slid it back underneath her bed.

"This has gone on long enough and we both took it way too far this time," he finished.

"We can wait a—"

"No!" he shouted. "No more waiting! You could be in labor and still tell me to wait!"

"First of all, you're exaggerating. Second of all, I'm just not ready yet."

"Fine. Then just let me do it. Then you won't have all the attention and you won't even have to prepare. How does that sound?"

She shook her head. "That's not fair to you."

" _This_ is unfair to me! What you're doing now, that's what's not fair! And going on missions, even if you do stay at a distance, when you're pregnant, that's not fair either! Lying to our friends, that's not fair! Tell me, exactly, what is 'fair' about _any_ of what we're doing now?"

"Just give me a little more t—"

"No! I'm done, I've had it with all the lies! They're finding out today. Are you with me or not?"

For a few minutes Raven remained silent. Anyone else would think she was using body language to say the latter, but he knew she was actually just thinking about it first. For him it wasn't that hard a decision, especially since he'd already made up his mind about it, but he knew that for her it was tough.

She finally turned over and stood up, taking his hand and pulling her hood as far over her face as possible without blocking her vision.

He led her out of her room. Rather than actually walking _with_ him, she walked behind him, and only came out from behind him when they reached the common room. Unfortunately for her—and thankfully for him—Cyborg, Starfire, and Robin were all there…unknowingly waiting for news that would hit them like an anvil.

Beast Boy cleared his throat to catch their attention.

"We have something to tell you," he said. "A couple of things, actually."

Cyborg sighed heavily and asked, "What did you do this time?"

"Well…definitely not what you're expecting…" he mumbled.

Raven was quiet, letting him take the stage for as long as she could. She clutched the inside of her cloak and tugged it more to the side to cover her stomach, despite this being the revelation moment she'd dreaded for so long. But it was like ripping off a band aid—it was best to get it over with, even if she would never feel ready for it.

"I sort of… We sort of um… Well… Uh… Hypothetically speaking, how would you feel if I told you I had a girlfriend?" he asked slowly.

"We would laugh. You and girls don't really mix that well," Cyborg chuckled.

"Okay well what if hypothetically I did?"

"We would hypothetically not believe you."

"Even if I hypothetically introduced her to you?"

" _Then_ we hypothetically might believe you."

"Then," he continued, "what if she had hypothetically been my girlfriend for about year…?"

Robin spoke in Cyborg's place. "We would wonder why you never hypothetically bothered telling us until now. Who is she and why did you hypothetically hide her?"

"What if you hypothetically knew her already and I never hypothetically hid her?"

"We would still be hypothetically wondering who she is."

Beast Boy took a very deep breath and wrapped an arm around Raven's waist. "What if I told you that hypothetical girl was…Raven?"

Raven turned her eyes to the ground while she waited for their reactions. She didn't expect it to be horrible, but she certainly didn't expect it to be celebrated either. Beast Boy was right. They shouldn't have waited, they should've come out with it immediately.

Starfire jumped into the air and squealed, virtually tackling Beast Boy with an aggressive, suffocating hug.

"Oh, this is most joyous!"

She released him only to get pushed to the side when she tried to hug Raven.

"Star!" Beast Boy cried. "You have to be careful!"

He blinked before realizing that while Starfire had expressed immense happiness, the other two had yet to utter a single word about it. He looked at them nervously and Raven took a small step back.

"We're just…shocked," Robin said. "You two are the last people we ever thought would end up together. And…for a whole year. You never even told us…"

"We weren't sure how you would react," Raven told him, finally joining in. "There's one other thing you need to know."

Beast Boy took his place beside her again and looked down at her stomach.

She inhaled and slowly spread her cloak back, exposing her swollen abdomen, and stared down as she felt the others' judgmental gaze upon her. Her cheeks began to burn.

"Raven's um…in a family way," Beast Boy said, as though it wasn't already obvious enough.

"What does this mean?" Starfire asked. "Is this not the swelling from too much food?"

"No," Raven answered. "It means Beast Boy and I are going to have a baby."

In an instant Starfire's squeal became borderline screaming as she embraced her friend.

"This is the most wondrous of news! Please, when are you due to give birth?"

She waited for Starfire to let go before answering her. "I'm not sure. I haven't seen a doctor yet."

"On Tamaran—"

"No, no Tamaranian medicine," Beast Boy warned. "This is an Earth baby. From Earth. This planet. Earth. Baby. And…" He cut his eyes over to the other two. "…what do you guys think about all this…?"

They both shook their heads.

Only Robin spoke. "Well, it's just… I-I don't really…have the words…"

Beast Boy nodded. "Yeah. I guess that's to be expected. Cyborg?"

Cyborg shook his head again, this time with a gaping mouth.

"I-I don't really… I guess I'm…with…Robin…?"

Beast Boy sighed and Raven merely stood there quietly, her eyes on anything _but_ Cyborg and Robin. At this point it was a miracle that the entire tower hadn't been torn apart already, or that it was even standing at all. Because her level of anxiety had gone through the roof…

At least now, maybe they could work on finding a doctor for her. There was a lot at stake, and a _lot_ that could go wrong. And yes, what he said was true. She could take the best care of herself, from every angle and to every extent, but underneath it all, she knew Beast Boy was saying the baby might be weak because it had inherited his unstable genes. That could indeed cause many problems. But it also inherited her sturdy genes. Even she didn't know what that would mean… Her powers combined with his shapeshifting… It was hard to imagine what that would mean for the baby, or even if it was capable of having powers. And if it did have powers, would it affect the way it would be raised? Would it have special needs? There was also a good chance it wouldn't have any powers since her lineage would be thinned along with Beast Boy's own genes, meaning both their powers could be negated. Hopefully that would be the case. Raising a superpowered child would be…difficult, to say the least. But at least Beast Boy was there to help.

"Sooo…" Robin began. "I guess…all that destruction around the tower wasn't Beast Boy…? Or does he still go about his usual ways…? What, uh…what's happening? You know…with you guys."

Raven wrapped her cloak back around herself and it didn't go unnoticed by Beast Boy.

He cleared his throat. "Raven gets kind of…moody, sometimes."

"Is this a misfortune?" Star innocently asked.

"No, no, Star. Not at all," he replied. "This is totally normal on Earth. Raven's fine."

"If you two have been together for a year, how come you never went on dates?" Cyborg asked.

Beast Boy took a deep breath. "We did, just, you know…behind your backs."

"I still don't see why. I mean it's weird and all but—"

"We didn't want to hear about _us_ being weird," he interrupted. "Five or six years ago it would've been horrible just to think about but now, well…it's not weird anymore."

But at one point it really was weird, and confusing, especially for him. That first time he saw Raven…differently. That time during a fight against Plasmus—how ironic—when Raven was nearly hit with a massive triceratops butt, he'd rolled into the air and morphed back at the last second just as she was readying herself for an evasion.

 _His body collided with hers and despite her ability to levitate and his ability to shapeshift—all in all, despite_ both _their abilities to not hit the ground—they had been caught off guard by the other, having disrupted the other's focus on their powers, trajectory, and anticipation of Plasmus's next move. He'd accidentally slammed Raven to the ground with her breaking his fall._

 _She sat up, pushing him up too, and looked at him, her expression holding nothing short of pure frustration. But where fear should've been lay wonder, and for the first time ever he actually paused for a moment just to study her. Her eyes, which had a certain…twinkle in them. Her hair, which had grown out without his noticing much. Her skin, which, though pale, looked so soft. She momentarily made him forget that they were right in the middle of a fight._

 _And that was a huge mistake… He hadn't gotten off her yet._

" _Beast Boy!" she warned, glancing in Plasmus's direction._

 _He turned just in time for the both of them to be hit by and wrapped in rancid villain goop. They won that fight but Raven's anger towards him did not subside in the least. She was keeping it under control but he could still feel it._

 _It only took a few hours for it to pass though. Everyone sort of learned to roll with his childish behavior after a few years and any anger or frustration never lasted long. One could say he'd broken them in._


	10. Chapter 10

**-CONTINUATION OF CHAPTER 9-**

 _Despite Raven's anger towards him, the features he'd overlooked all these years were still stuck in his head—when had Raven become…this?_

 _In the weeks that followed this chance incident, he began noticing Raven's presence more, and fantasizing what it would be like to kiss her. It was wrong to think about his comrade that way but the more he thought about it the more he wanted to do it, just to find out how it felt if for no other reason. He never let on. It was his dirty little secret._

 _Soon enough he found himself going out of his way to touch her, be it a nudge with his elbow or using her to steady himself while pretending to be winded. But there was no intimacy, not even one friendly hug. All it ever seemed to do was annoy her more than usual. At this point it was common knowledge that she hated being touched, and only tolerated it when she was the one doing the touching._

 _All he knew was that there was an emotion inside him that wasn't supposed to be there, one he only felt towards her, one that only got stronger when she was near. It was like what he felt for Terra times ten._

 _Weeks turned to months and the feeling never once went away. He didn't want to admit it even to himself but he knew he was completely in love with his comrade. HIS COMRADE. HIS FRIEND. She was nothing more than that and she didn't reciprocate any of these feelings. If anything she was trying to distance herself from him…_

 _During missions or just petty villain battles he tended to stay nearer to her, and felt obliged to protect her more so than the others, even if she wasn't actually in danger. Every insult she threw at him was brushed off and laughed at. And it was frustrating because no matter what he did he couldn't let off any steam. Excessive training, alone time, video games, comic books, television favorites, nothing worked. The mere thought of the girl he'd known and even lived with for years with a strictly platonic relationship was suddenly too distracting for him to focus on much else._

 _So he decided it was best just to get it off his chest. At first he thought about anyone_ but _Raven. It became clear that they might not be able to handle it in the way he wanted them to. On one hand he didn't want them to support this because it was wrong but on the other he wanted them to just tell him to go for it. But the reality was that they would see a whole new light shed on him, and not a very good one._

 _He had to let his decision rest with what Raven thought of this, not them…although telling her could very well hospitalize him._

 _The original plan was to wait until Valentine's Day, but further consideration made him think otherwise. For one, it was still months ways. Two, Raven hated Valentine's Day. Something about it being too "lovey-dovey". It could be chalked up to her having been single for so many years but she honestly had never been the type to involve herself with anything pink and heart-shaped. She was also_ not _a girly character, and never had been for as long as he knew her._

 _So Valentine's Day went out the window as soon as it came in. Every angle told him it was best to catch her in her version of a good mood, and she had to be alone but not in her room—intrusion was not well-received._

 _So perhaps something random but casual, in a way? And where? And when? And how?_

 _The question answered itself when Raven conveniently stepped out of her room as he was approaching it. Naturally it was at a time he didn't intend to see her, and was only trying to get to his own room to plan and sort everything out first._

 _He stood rigid trying to come up with something to say._

 _"Can I…help you?" she asked as she raised an eyebrow._

 _He managed to calm his nerves by taking a slow, deep breath._

 _"I've um, kind of…been meaning to…uh… Okay, so, it's like this, see, I was walking to my room and then you came out of yours…which you know, you already know… So…"_

 _"So…you want me to just move out of your way?"_

 _"Well yes. I mean no! I mean just…just stand there, like you're doing now, and let me tell you…uh…the…thing I have to tell you…I guess…" He groaned, knowing this must sound terrible right now._

 _She crossed her arms. "Beast Boy, what is this about?"_

 _"Raven…" He drew a sharp breath. "I'm not always that good with words, but…i-it's about you…and…and me…and our dynamic."_

 _"Our dynamic?"_

 _"Yeah. I'm the jokester and you punish me when I prank you." He nervously chuckled. "It's…it's always been that way, hasn't it?"_

 _She quietly nodded._

 _"What if…one of us wanted that to change…?"_

 _A look of confusion crossed her typically stoic face._

 _He took a step closer to her and his eyes met hers. "Raven, you're the best girl I've ever had the pleasure of knowing."_

 _"Wha—"_

 _He put a finger on her lips. "Just hear me out." He took his finger off when she nodded. "I know I mess up. A lot. And you make fun of me for it all the time, and you never let me forget some of it. But you've never kicked me when I'm down, all you ever do is try to pick me back up and all you ever do is succeed. The other Titans, they think it's best to give me space but you're the one who actively tries to help. When I'm really serious about doing something, as long as it's not stupid, you're always there supporting me in your own way. And if you think something's wrong, and I deny it, you'll call me out on it, make me talk to you…and you never tell anyone else. You have an incredible, rare personality…and…I think that's why…I…"_

 _Suddenly the girl standing in front of him, hearing him out as he'd asked, became the most intimidating person in the world. She never did seem like the type of girl who would let flattery get him—or anyone else—anywhere. Yet here he was, attempting to flatter her anyway, and probably getting nowhere in doing it._

 _"Raven…I think I'm in love with you…" he squeaked._

 _He'd never seen her blush as hard as she did in that moment._

 _"Beast Boy, I swear, if this is some kind of joke…"_

 _He rubbed the back of his neck and looked at his feet._

 _"I really wish it was."_

 _"C-Couldn't you have at least warned me you were about to drop a truth bomb like that?"_

 _He took another deep breath. "You're right. I'm sorry for dumping all that on you. I didn't mean to upset anyone."_

 _Except himself, apparently._

 _He left without another word and Raven stay put, quietly and wordlessly. He avoided everyone else as he made his way towards the one place he found solace in, which, ironically and depressingly, was the same rock Terra had first told him about her lack of control over her powers. Over time it had become his own little place—Raven wasn't the only one who liked to be alone when she was upset._

 _"You have a real thing for Titan girls don't you…" he muttered bitterly to his reflection in the water._

 _"Terra was understandable, at least…" his reflection replied. "But then of all the girls on the planet you choose Raven. Why?"_

 _"I already_ explained _why, and it didn't matter."_

 _"So she thinks."_

 _"So she_ doesn't _think," a third character interrupted._

 _A familiar face slipped into view and he turned around, only hoping she hadn't been standing there long enough to know he'd been wallowing in self-pity over a rejection he already knew would come. He'd already looked pretty bad once, she had made that clear, and the last thing he needed now was to look pathetic._

 _He stood up to face her._

 _"Talk to yourself often?" Raven asked._

 _His face must've flushed five shades of red. "Uh…no. Sometimes hearing my thoughts helps me, you know…sort things out… N-Not that there's much to sort though, I mean, it's pretty crystal—"_

 _"It wouldn't work, Beast Boy," she interrupted._

 _So he possibly had a chance, assuming he could convince her that a relationship with him beyond a comrade and friend could work. And assuming this wasn't her way of a blatant "no". He took a breath and tried to gather himself, make himself look and sound as presentable and smooth as possible._

 _"Sooo…who decided that?" He only realized how bad that sounded after it came out… He should've worded it differently… But it was Raven and…talking to her was like talking to…well…to Raven…_

 _"I did," she said. "Look, I didn't mean to run you off. I'm just…not the relationship type."_

 _"But you've had other relationships in the past," he countered._

 _It probably_ wasn't _the best idea in the world to argue with a girl who just told him no, twice, but her reasoning was off by leaps and bounds. It was true that Malchior was her first love, and first heartbreak, but she'd recovered and maintained a private love life for some time afterward. Naturally he followed her around when he could and snooped without her ever suspecting a thing, and the pattern of one broken heart after another revealed itself in no time. Her trust in having a partner diminished, and she closed herself off from any and all romantic advances, big or small, to protect herself._

 _"I know the reason you've been single all these years," he added._

 _She pulled her hood over her head and gazed out to the sea. "I'm not a very good girlfriend."_

 _That though… That one sentence nearly sent him over the edge with rage._

 _"What?! You think just because you told them no, that makes you a bad girlfriend?!" he shouted. "So, what, does that mean they were good to you by trying to pressure you into doing something you weren't ready for?!"_

 _She looked at him with challenging eyes. "You shouldn't even know this stuff, let alone care."_

 _"I care because you're you and that's all the reason I've ever needed!" He gritted his teeth. "I know because I followed you around in case something happened."_

 _"Nothing_ ever _happened. I have my powers, in case you forgot," she retaliated._

 _"Nothing ever happened because_ I _was there to stop it!" He only continued when the only emotion in her eyes was confusion. And this time he tried to be calmer about it. "Remember that one guy, I think his name was Darien or Damian or something? Remember when he took you to that club you never actually wanted to go to? And the last thing you ever heard about him was that he got hit by a car and wound up in the hospital?"_

 _"YOU HIT HIM WITH A CAR?!"_

 _"No, but I'm the one who pushed him in front of one, plus he lived anyway." He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at her._

 _"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!"_

 _"Funny story, you might wanna sit down for this one," he remarked. "Everything started out fine and dandy until you suddenly got all cozy with him. Your speech was off, you were giggling more than_ Starfire _, and you just weren't yourself. So naturally I had to investigate. Found a girl wearing that nail polish that turns black if there's a drug in the water and asked her to dip her finger in your drink. Her fingernail turned black. I decided to act fast since you were in no condition to make your own choices. I pulled him away from you, kicked him out of the club, shoved him into the street, and I happened to not be paying much attention to the car because I was focused_ on you _."_

 _"I…I woke up in my bed though…he took me home…" she mumbled. "He got hit on the way back to his place…"_

 _"Another funny story. Some jerk called 911 and I explained everything to the cops, what he did, what he was trying to do, what he was trying to get_ you _to do… Everyone else was a witness. The girl who helped me test your drink showed them her fingernail as evidence, then we showed them your drink, and then we showed them you. They let me off with a warning after like an hour of interrogation. After everything was cleared up I tried to get you to drink some real water, from a new water bottle, so it would delude the drug. You took like two sips before pouncing me. You were so disoriented I had to carry you back home. I put you in your bed and you fell asleep a few minutes later."_

 _Her face fell and for a few moments it seemed as if reality was slowly sinking in. He halfway didn't expect her to believe his story…it sounded pretty farfetched even to him—this not including the entirety of what went on that night…_

 _"You said…I pounced you…" she murmured. "D-Did we…?"_

 _He shook his head. "I didn't let anything happen."_

 _But she had been the epitome of sexy. She never even touched his crotch but her soft hands roaming his chest was enough to turn him on. He lifted his head up every time she tried to kiss him, minus his cheeks and neck which he couldn't control. It took everything he had to force his brain to win that battle, and that was only because she would have to live with so much guilt and shame afterward, and he just couldn't do that to her. That wasn't what she wanted, that wasn't even her choice. When he discovered she didn't remember a thing, he decided against letting her know the truth…until now._

 _"I'm…so sorry, Beast Boy…"_

 _He felt surprise hit him like a brick as he heard those undertones of sheer regret and embarrassment in her innocent voice._

 _"Why are you apologizing?" he asked, his voice drastically softer than before. "He spiked your drink and tried to get you in his bed, you know what that's called, Raven? None of that was your fault, you didn't know. Blame him and fault me."_

 _"Fault you for what? You stopped it."_

 _"Fault me for letting you hold yourself accountable for his actions all these years. If I'd told you about it then maybe you'd have had a chance at a good relationship." He paused for a second. "You deserve that at least."_

 _She had the world's best poker face, always did, but her body was betraying her little façade—her eyes were forlorn and glazed heavily with tears. It was like she was forcing herself to be stoic. She didn't want to open up to him, and was probably hating that he was calling her out on all the pain she'd been hiding. But if this was what she'd been thinking then this was what she needed to hear._

 _"Let me show you what it's like," he said._

 _"What what's like?" Her voice cracked but she didn't show any signs of realizing it. He hoped she didn't, at least that way she wouldn't be embarrassed._

 _He wanted to tell her she could go ahead and cry, he wouldn't tell a soul._

 _"Let me take you on a date," he replied. "Just one, that's it. If you don't like it, I promise to never bring this up again and we can forget it ever happened. But if you do like it, give me a chance to show you what a relationship is supposed to be like."_

 _He stared her dead in the eye until she finally looked away towards the sea. Those sad but beautiful amethyst eyes literally sparkling from the reflection of the sunset on her unshed tears._

 _"Just one date?" she murmured._

 _"Just one," he quickly answered. "I swear."_

That one date turned into the relationship he promised he would show her. Now, pregnancy was not something they'd planned on but it seemed to add to the relationship, for him at least.

 **A/N**

 **Whew! I have no idea why this was so hard to write, I just kept getting... _stuck_ , you know? Anyway I had to wrap this chapter up so I could upload it before a year passed. Next update ought to be soon!**


	11. Chapter 11

There it was again… There was that same sensation… Like he was being watched…

Beast Boy quietly and carefully slid off of Raven's bed, looking back at her sleeping form as he made his way out of her room. Normally he would be tired but…something was just…wrong. Everything felt wrong. It was uncomfortable. There was no plausible explanation for the hairs on his neck raising and the sudden, intense desire to go to a location he didn't even consider going to. He was supposed to be _asleep_.

Instead he was creeping around the tower, eventually reaching the living room. The very thought of staying in the tower, of _not_ going outside, made his muscles tense. He wanted to go outside, find out why he wanted to go to…somewhere. He didn't even know where, it was just a direction he was being pulled towards. But he didn't want to leave Raven alone in the middle of the night… But, then again…she wasn't actually _alone_ alone. But she was still unguarded. But, no, she really wasn't… But what if there was an attack? But then the others were perfectly capable of handling it…

Fine…it was settled. He would only go out for a minute or two to see where this odd feeling would lead him. Then he would come right back having taken care of whatever business needed to be done.

He didn't wake anyone to tell him he would be leaving, finding no need to have any of them _happen_ to want to tag along, interested in the same suspense he was in now. He merely left the building in silence.

He'd been outside at night before but somehow the wind felt different… The sky looked different… The waves sounded different… His unease only grew.

He morphed into a hawk and took to the sky. He wanted to be a falcon. He wanted to be fast. But a hawk would do just fine—why rush in the dead of night? And come to think of it, why was he not tired? He always slept well with Raven, she never tossed, turned, pushed, or kicked. So…it was hard to understand why he'd want to leave the comfort and warmth of her bed to end up in a chilly night sky. _Without her_. Part of him wanted to turn back and sleep despite being fully awake.

Something inside him pulsed, as if part of his mind was resonating with something…familiar. He couldn't actually say what it was but somehow he knew he'd felt it before. This déjà vu feeling forced a new kind of restlessness upon him. He wasn't excited or angry but he could feel the adrenaline start to rise. He felt his heart rate and breathing pick up.

He reached the border of the city and landed on the edge of a gas station, surveying the area. He had reached his destination but…nothing was out of the ordinary. Maybe he still felt off because he rarely went to the border and he was a small animal…? He morphed back into a human in efforts to get rid of this feeling. Instead it intensified. The pure tension and unease was maddening. He came here for a reason that now seemed nonexistent. _Nothing was wrong_. But at the same time something just wasn't right either. Then again no one else was here. No one else seemed to be drawn to this place like he had. But it only begged to question _why._ Was it because of his animal instincts? Was he drawn here because he more in tune with nature? Was something wrong with nature? An imbalance, maybe? A natural distortion? Distortion of what? And what was he supposed to do about it? What was he even here _to_ do? Was he here to do _anything?_ Was he just going crazy? Was—

His body tensed. There was something in the trees. His body detected nothing but something inside him _knew_ something else was there. Right there…right in the trees…shrouded by darkness. There was very little doubt that whatever was hiding was what he had been drawn by. And it rattled his core. Part of him felt like morphing into some predatory animal for defense, if needed. But another part told him to wait for some reason. Wait on what? A sign of life? Admittedly feeling alone wasn't much proof—if any at all—that something alive was in front of him. Somewhere. Still, it was no longer a general direction that beckoned him. It was a single line of direct focus he couldn't possibly ignore.

It could've been his imagination but it felt like something was staring him down from the shadows, and the dim lighting of an empty and somewhat remote gas station didn't provide him with _any_ evidence of someone else nearby. So what now, then? Approach what could very well be nothing and come back empty-handed? Tsh.

He ground his teeth together. If something was there he would've seen some kind of movement or heard something out of the ordinary. So far he had some gut feeling. It was too stupid a reason to be here.

It took so much more willpower than it should've to tear himself away from…whatever this was. But Raven needed him now more than ever. She needed to be his top priority and that meant he couldn't just run off whenever he felt like it—it meant he had to _be there_. He had to _stay_ with her. He had to be more than he was now, otherwise he wouldn't be worthy of fatherhood.

He took a deep breath, morphed into a hawk again, and made his way back to Titans Tower.

The adrenaline that had pushed him to the edge of the city subsided when he reached Raven's room. He closed the window and crawled under the blanket, taking a ridiculous amount of time to let sleep claim him.

And the worst…the absolute _worst_...dream came to him. It couldn't be that "falling forever" or "school with no pants" dream, no. It _had_ to be his haunting past. It _had_ to be claws and fangs. Thick armor. Club tails. Poison. He went from dream to memory, one so realistic that he could taste and feel everything, including the sheer lack of any and all humanity that he'd later been forced to develop under Rita's loving care. He saw and heard metal bars ring. Some random person sliding several feet across the floor, blood practically pouring out of their young neck and leaving a trail behind them. He thought nothing of it, as though it was the most normal thing in the world. Even as a child lay under him, with her arms pinned, and even as her eyes and whimpers begged for the mercy that wouldn't come, he himself went straight for her throat. When his mouth became human it was _coated_ with fresh blood. And it had been a good thing he'd gone ahead and killed her—it was in the nick of time that someone else nearly stabbed him with what he assumed to be a half-morphed antler. He immediately became tangled up in another fight and just as with that girl he found no fault in what he did. And this one, it was actually with a stroke of luck, but he managed to tear off that one antler that had lunged at him, and proceeded to pierce that same spot with several long, hard claws. The other boy died in an instant. More blood yet it was no concern of his. The two other children dying near the other end of the cage, bleeding out when anyone could help them if they chose to do so, were left to die alone. If you were down you were dead—no one gave that rule much thought and no one gave a second glance at those two.

Until this entire scene changed. Suddenly he had emotion. He had his humanity back. He _cared_ and he _regretted_. What he'd done in the past was horrifying enough but now, with a dying boy maybe five years of age at his feet, with Raven motionless on the ground, with blood splattered here and there and claw marks everywhere—even on _them_ —and with his entire body stained red, he wanted to die with them. He wanted to refuse to believe he was the one who slaughtered Raven and this child, who he somehow knew to be his son, but there was no denying that he'd singlehandedly killed them both. He couldn't even bring himself to think of the rest of his comrades…his teammates…his friends…his family… He couldn't bring himself to think about the Doom Patrol either. He looked down to see such a familiar sight that he wished wasn't familiar at all—the boy sighed out his last breath and whatever muscles had been tensed now relaxed.

He immediately shot up in the bed, fully awake, fully aware, and sweating and panting like nobody's business. The first thing he did was look to his side. Raven wasn't moving.

In a panic he violently shook her and yelled out her name. It wasn't enough to satisfy him when she did stir. She turned around towards him and growled.

"It's the middle of the _night_ , what is wrong with you?!"

A nearby candle became encased in black energy and melted far more quickly than any normal rate.

He put a much gentler hand on her stomach. Her tight, hard belly assured him that she was still pregnant. His mind flipped a few pages over to the memory of the doctors happily telling them the baby was very healthy and growing at the proper rate. With the exception of those doctors, who had agreed to keep her pregnancy and even their relationship status a secret—and with HIPPA they weren't even allowed to disclose medical or personal information—only his team knew about this baby, and about Raven and him.

Raven's _extremely_ irritated face softened dramatically when she saw his distress.

"Garfield," she whispered. "What's wrong?"

He forced a short, somewhat choked laugh and answered, "Just some stupid dream, that's all. Sorry for waking you up. Go back to sleep." He kissed her cheek. "You need it more than I do."

He returned to her side and closed his eyes, pretending to be sleepy, but didn't take his hand off her—off the baby.

" _Rita, the ghost is back!" he cried out as he cowered under his covers, tears cascading down his face._

 _His, by now, surrogate mother ran into his room to help him with his paranormal problems. She told him numerous times that ghosts weren't real and he wasn't in any danger, but she'd also said once before that, in a reference to his past, it was haunting him. It was common knowledge that ghosts haunted people so he conflated the two._

 _She sighed and knelt down to his level, pulling the covers from his eyes so she could look at him._

" _Garfield, honey, there's no such thing as ghosts. Do you_ really _think I'd let_ anything _happen to a sweet baby like you?"_

 _He giggled. "I'm not a baby."_

" _Oh reaaallllyyyyy…? What are you then?" She smiled and perked an eyebrow._

 _He popped his head out from the covers. "I'm a big boy!"_

 _She poked his nose. "I guess you can fight off those ghosts then, huh?"_

 _His face fell and he retreated back under the covers. "No. I-I don't want to fight anymore."_

 _Her smile changed, this time becoming a little more understanding. A little more motherly._

" _It's not that kind of fighting," she whispered. "You fight with your head."_

 _He forced out one full deer antler and one full elk antler. So far that was the best he could do. Training was slowly paying off in that at least this time they were both antlers. Whether or not they were two different species of animal was irrelevant right now._

 _Everybody else tended to keep just a little bit of distance when he morphed, even if he couldn't do it completely yet. Maybe they assumed he didn't know why but he wasn't stupid, they knew he was dangerous. Except for Rita. While everyone else was still wary—though less so than before, when the only thing on his mind was killing them all—Rita would come right up to him and pat him and congratulate him. She was the one person he'd come to rely on most. She gave him the stability he never had and never knew he needed until she came into his life. Only she knew he wasn't dangerous…not anymore. Only she tried to imagine what his life had really been like before the Doom Patrol rescued him from it._

 _It was ultimately Mento who influenced the rest of the team. He gave off vibes that told people to keep a respectable amount of distance between him and themselves. Mento made it clear, without saying one word, that he still doubted this monstrosity always trailing them. Always observing them. Always learning from them. Rita was the one who totally ignored Mento's opinions on him. It was because of this that, although he didn't have a father figure, Rita was good enough for him…more than he could ask for, actually._

 _She poked the deer antler first and then the elk antler. She chuckled as each disappeared accordingly._

" _No, that's still not what I meant. What do these ghosts look like?"_

 _He removed the covers completely and sat with his legs crossed. He tapped on his forehead._

" _They're in here."_

" _And what do they look like in there?"_

 _He wanted to tell Rita everything but the memory of what Mento said he was, and would forever be what the scientists made him to be, had burned itself into his mind…possibly forever. It was one thing for anyone else to think that way about him, to have such minuscule faith that he could be just like them, but it would truly crush him if she thought that too. And if she knew what happened, if she knew how terrible he was and how he willingly chose to murder without feeling an ounce of guilt after, the chances of her still seeing him the same way as she did now were slim despite how much he'd changed. He was young…but even he could figure that much out._

 _On the other hand she was the only one who offered up her help…her time…her effort…all for a nameless killer who was supposed to have died. She would probably want to know. But then again it might be best to gloss over a few things._

" _They look like me and they have my powers. And they'll fight me, and I'll fight back. But, I always win."_

 _Rita's expression went from lighthearted and understanding to concerned and worried in a second._

" _Didn't you tell me you had to win if you didn't want to be killed? Before we came?"_

 _When he thought back, he did mention it before, but only because she was intent on interrogating him. He was positive she would relay that information to her husband, Steve/Mento, in futile attempts to make him see that he had 'only attacked them in order to preserve his own life'. This wasn't entirely true but that was the only thing Rita wanted to acknowledge, and she seemed to ignore the part where he felt no self-preservation and acted with_ only _murderous intents. It was never his plan, at all, to leave anyone incapacitated—they had to be dead before he would abandon them, even if it did cost him his life. Why Rita brushed this crucial fact off, he couldn't understand. Perhaps it was to protect him from the others, more so Mento who had at the time still strongly considered killing him, this time to protect the others from him. He didn't at all doubt that he'd created some kind of wedge between her and Mento simply by being…different._

" _I guess I did…" he mumbled._

 _She slowly inhaled. "Garfield, that's not a ghost. I think you're just scared of going back to what you were." She sat on his bed beside him and pulled him close. "Sometimes dreams are manifestations of your deepest fears."_

" _What's a 'manifestation'?"_

" _It's um…well…" She put a finger to her chin for a moment. "It's sort of like, when you see something that represents something else that can't be seen or touched, like a feeling."_

" _So I'm scared if I see a manifestation?"_

" _Well…not always, no… A manifestation can be many different things." Before he could ask even more questions about these things, she jumped on to change the subject back to what it originally was. "But basically, I think you're having nightmares because you're scared of your past."_

 _He pulled his knees to his chest and rested his chin on them. "I don't want to be a monster anymore…"_

 _She kissed the top of his head and replied, "You've never been a monster, sweetheart."_

"The hell I'll be one now," he hissed under his breath.


	12. Chapter 12

That dream had rattled him senseless for the following few weeks. It hadn't appeared again and thankfully he could sleep, but it was constantly on his mind. He had to split his focus between Raven, the baby, Jump City, training, and even eating. After a week of driving himself up the wall he'd taken to his own methods of meditation…more or less. He didn't sit cross-legged and mumble chants like Raven. He preferred a less orthodox approach, but one equally as relaxing. First thing in the morning was coffee, then when the chance presented itself he would head out for a nice fly in the sky, feeling the wind under his wings and watching civilians, plants, and sea below pass by. This kind of leisure helped greatly to relieve some of the stress of that dream.

Rita's words still echoed in his head though, the ones about his dreams representing his fears. When he was younger this was a bit more difficult to grasp but now that he was older he knew what he did and didn't fear. Reverting back to the bloodthirsty hellion he used to be had always been his biggest fear, even if he wasn't thinking about it.

He flapped his wings a few times to keep himself airborne.

Maybe now that Raven was pregnant he was becoming terrified of hurting her…or worse. He had told himself countless times that it was just a bad dream, but the harsh reality of this was that there was so much more to it than just a sequence of actions in his head. What if this all intensified because he didn't trust himself to keep his "directive", as Steve had so kindly dubbed it long ago, under control? The facts were, he wasn't made to have a conscience. He was never meant to be saved from the hellhole he came out of, let alone fall in love and start a family. The only thing he was made for was pure and total destruction…destruction of buildings, destruction of land, destruction of lifestyles, but most importantly…destruction of life itself. He was equipped to be the most hated, heartless, unstoppable weapon history would ever have had the displeasure of documenting.

He was never supposed to have been made a hero. He was supposed to have died the day the Doom Patrol destroyed his place of origin. It caved in, killed all the others, and being the only survivor made things worse. Then the second time he should've died, when Mento was _convinced_ that he was nothing more and would never be anything more than an abomination with a taste for blood, and no problem in doing anything to get it.

Yet here he was now. A hero. A goody-goody. Some might even call him a savior _._ They acted like this role had always been his destiny…some part of an elaborate plan. They had no idea… He was capable of so much destruction even as a young boy and had proven it, albeit only to a select few who didn't know what they'd signed up for when they saved him and then allowed him to live.

So who was to say that he was _incapable_ of it now? He wasn't a partial-morpher anymore and once again, as Mento said, he could now turn into anything they didn't want to go up against. His genes had been tampered with over and over, so perhaps it was because of this that his animals were significantly stronger than normal animals.

So it could be possible for him to…regress. Or…no…it was stupid to think that dream would have an _ounce_ of truth to it. He loved Raven too much for that dream be even remotely close to reality. And to top that she was carrying _his baby_. He had a chance to right his wrongs, if that was even the slightest bit possible, and he was overjoyed that finally, _finally_ , he was giving life back. With…Raven's assistance of course. She was choosing to start a family with him, knowing that with today's laws she didn't have to. Directive or not how could he hurt that? How could he hurt _them?_ No way that was possible. This dream shouldn't have shaken his core.

And he couldn't tell Raven even though he did kind of want to—she was the person he needed to start confessing everything to, and being completely honest with her, but he couldn't do it. For one she was still so emotional that him eating the wrong way could cause the lights to go out. Two, if it shook him up this bad, he couldn't imagine what it would do to her.

He wanted to keep flying for just a while longer but it had already been two hours, maybe three. Besides, with his thoughts so depressing, a calming flight wasn't doing much calming.

He took as deep a breath as a seagull could and turned back towards the tower. It was _far_ from an enjoyable flight back when he got that sensation again. It was down on the ground but he was passing over a wooded area. He had to focus on the tower and getting back but it was absolutely impossible to brush off this feeling. It wasn't as intense as before, and while he could morph into a faster bird, his desires were somewhat…predatory, if he didn't know any better. Perhaps that was the wrong word to use but something had clicked inside, for the third time. First the twinge he felt with Raven, then the time it had been so strong one could say he was all but forced to follow it, and now here it was again. Was it following him, perhaps…? Was there _even something there?_ It looked less and less like there was anything.

Suddenly a scream pierced his thoughts. He tucked his wings and plummeted, occasionally pumping air. He expertly opened them back up right before a touchdown and morphed back, using the traction of his shoes to slide to a quick halt.

A woman was bent over herself, head in hands, crying next to a red SUV that had rolled onto its side. There were miscellaneous dents and scrapes from what he assumed to be the pavement from when it had flipped. And there were…marks. But upon a closer inspection…this red car changed shades. He'd seen it enough to know it was blood. There was some splashed across it, though not necessarily splattered… What in the world had gone on here…?

"Beast Boy!" a familiar male voice called out behind him.

He turned around and was greeted with Robin's always so serious face.

"Beast Boy, what happened?"

His mouth hung open and no words would draw forth as he tried to envision the scenario that could've taken place. But the marks on the vehicle were…scary…to say the least. They were animalistic in nature, and had been strong enough to shred metal. No human could've done this kind of damage…

Having no appropriate answer, he turned back to the car. This thing had been thoroughly wrecked and not due to the driver. There were some dents that went so deep they became holes. Something had rammed, pierced, and mauled this car. And judging from the bright to dark red color changes in seemingly random places, there was a victim. Who though? And what did this? Why an ordinary car that had no value? What ever happened to reasonably attacking an armored vehicle transporting loads of cash or other valuables?

"My car…" the woman sobbed. "My car, it was a gift…"

He supposed the only thing valuable about this car, especially given that none of its parts had been stolen or went missing, was this lady's attachment to it. A grudge, maybe? But what about the claw marks? And the lady didn't have a scratch on her as far he could tell, so obviously she wasn't the victim.

Starfire effortlessly picked up the vehicle and returned it to its proper position.

"There are claw marks on this," Robin pointed out, looking at him almost accusingly. "And whatever did this didn't seem to have much trouble cutting through metal like it was butter."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "I hope you're not implying _I_ did this."

"You're sure the Beast is still under control, though, right? That incident was…slightly traumatic. And this kind of damage was exactly the kind of thing we saw."

"Robin…we must not doubt our friends," Starfire softly said, landing beside him and putting a hand on his shoulder. "Beast Boy would not have attacked anything without reason."

"Except food," Cyborg joked as he entered the scene. "But what happened here? The car looks like someone _did_ try to eat it."

Or prey… There was a fight, or at the least a violent kidnapping. This car simply happened to be in the middle of it, and was probably attacked in the process. The target may never have been the car at all but it was hard evidence that this was no human-to-human combat.

Cyborg walked up to the vehicle and raised his arm to it, scanning the marks and eventually noticing an organic change—the blood.

He changed into a bloodhound and hardly paid attention to what Cyborg was shocked to discover. His nose could pick up any animal, fume, substance…including humans. But this scent…

He lowered his nose to the ground and concentrated. It was familiar but it wasn't human. It smelled like…a twisted bear…? But it was mixed ever so slightly with a human scent. Maybe the bear and victim became so entangled that it created this odd smell.

"Raven's back at the tower, right?" he asked everyone after he transformed back.

"When we got the distress call about a car we thought she should stay home," Robin answered.

"There wasn't enough information to go on, we didn't know how safe she would be," Cyborg added.

He nodded his head and stood up to face them.

"It was a bear," he said. "A human was also here."

For a moment everyone looked confused, but it was Starfire who spoke up first.

"Are bears native to this area of human habitation?" she asked.

"No. Even if they were, their claws wouldn't leave these kinds of markings," Beast Boy answered. "It could also be a person that sprayed themselves with bear musk. It's pretty tricky to get past that kind of thing, even for me."

And that was no lie. He had mistaken hunters for a doe in heat before, and duck calls for actual ducks. People knew how to avoid being tracked and this could've been one such person. All they had to do was hide their scent and cover their footsteps and they disappeared. It was the only other explanation behind the mixed smells from the car. Not to mention that he also had to sift through the normal oil and metal scents given off by any car. This had some possibility of messing him up on the finer details, such as who it was and if it was anyone he knew.

"You think they might've been training it how to drive or something?" Cyborg mumbled, apparently only realizing the stupidity of his "joke" after he said it.

"It smells like a female bear. Hunters use a female animal's natural pheromones to lure males. So, it could also be that the person sprayed themselves and a jealous female came along."

Likewise if Aqualad was able to pick up pheromones, due to his animal powers, that could've been why he never left Raven alone. He was positive that he himself had picked it up unknowingly and therefore became "jealous". The scent was strong now but back then why hadn't he recognized it? Maybe it was just…too early? Or maybe it was because he never morphed into an animal with a sharper sense of smell around her.

"I don't understand this…" Robin sighed. "Bears never attack random cars and— Beast Boy?"

He shot his eyes over. "Hm?"

"You of all people know about animal instincts, right?"

"Well, yeah, I guess so."

"How often do bears feel the need to attack people?"

It didn't take much thought. "It's pretty rare. They usually only do it when they feel threatened. Other than that they don't even care we exist." He rubbed his chin for a moment. "Unless it has rabies."

But he didn't make out any diseases or other abnormalities that could be picked up via scent.

"How often does a bear go into a populated area? And why would it?"

"Hmm. It's usually to get food if they do come. It doesn't happen very often though, and I've never heard of one in the middle of a city this big."

Robin inhaled. "Then for now we have to assume someone brought it here."

"But why would someone transport a such vicious animal here?" Starfire wondered.

He wanted to say it could've been an animal rescue in which the animal got loose before it arrived at the veterinarian. But…that hardly made sense. This SUV had been tipped over and _mauled_. And bear claws were not capable of making such clean cuts through this kind of material. What if he _had_ been the one doing this…? He was more than capable of it. Maybe in his sleep he had lashed out and attacked a random car, which would explain the markings and maybe the scent left behind.

All except for the blood... He was made to do this, not just to a car but to everything…living or not. But he'd changed. Rita helped him become the good guy now, on a good team, with good people. He was the one who fought evil, he wasn't the source of it anymore.

Right…?

This whole thing was becoming too frustrating and worse, scary. He wanted to believe it couldn't _possibly_ have been him but Mento was 100% accurate when he said this was _exactly_ what he was always meant to do. Now it felt like he was just forcing himself to believe it wasn't him for his own selfish sake.

He morphed into a falcon without warning and flew as fast has he could back towards Titans Tower. He forced himself to believe that this was insanity—that he'd changed forever. There was no chance he would revert back to what he was. Granted there was no way for him to take back what he'd done in the past but he could prevent doing it again in the future. But if it was he who destroyed that car then it could be the start of a new chapter…

No. Even at the expense of his life he would never allow another massacre to happen again, because if he did, now that he was fully trained and unconfined, a massacre would turn into a holocaust. Countless lives...snuffed out in a twinkling…for nothing.

 **A/N**

 **Those of you who took the time to review, thank you. :) I'm glad you like this story so much, and I hope I can continue to entertain you! Here's to another chapter!**


End file.
